Don't Give Up
by Mrs.Scarlettbutler
Summary: Starts shortly after I Want To Believe. Scully gets a call from the woman who adopted William. The call brings William and the X-Files back and takes M&S on a journey to family life and Alberta. New beginnings are sweet and scary sometimes ;-
1. Chapter 1

It all, at least Scully, Mulder and The X-Files, belongs to Chris Carter.

A/N. This was written after watching XF2 for the second time;

I felt that Scully deserved some peace and happiness. I know

the story starts on the wrong date but I've my reasons for that.

Don't Give Up

West Virginia

April 8th 2008

"Scully?"

"Mulder!"

Smiling softly, she turned to face him. His relaxed expression was gone and the uncertainty back. Waiting, she locked eyes with him, when he kept quiet, her smile disappeared and worry crept into her eyes, too.

Hesitatingly, he stepped closer to her. Reaching out he touched

her soft cheek with his thumb, "have you changed your mind now that we are home again?"

A part of him wanted to take the question back, scared she would

answer it with a fatal, ice-cold 'yes'. The other, and normally silent part, vocalized the very essence of his fear, the fear he kept in the deepest corner of his heart and only allowed to surface, when it refused to be silenced any longer.

Nothing came close to the fear of loosing Scully. She might think Samantha, his little sister, held the main key to his heart, held the power to hurt him most, the plain, secret truth was; Scully did and had for close to 15 years.

The attraction had been there from the first moment, he ran his eyes over her petite body; his body had reacted instantly, but, it was the beat his heart skipped, when meeting her eyes for the very first time that intrigued him. It hadn't happen before and never again.

When walking into his office she had walked straight into his heart, all of it, a position never challenged. It was unknown when the attraction had transformed into respect, into love and ultimately into heart and soul committing. The transformation had come in fluent

waves, each tide opening his heart fuller to their connection, to his remembrance of her.

A remembrance he had come to understand, when Melissa opened up to his pasts lives. He hadn't had the heart to tell the poor woman that their commitment, their promise of sharing a lovers bond again had ended on that field. In his dying moment her face had faded away and was replaced with the face of, former, Scully, his heart had made the commitment with Scully.

And here they were as man and woman in a new life.

He hadn't told Scully, yet, but his committing had been strong, it reached beyond this one life. He hoped, she had made the same commitment that day on that field. One life wasn't enough. He wanted, needed more.

Closing her eyes for a brief moment, she covered his hand with her own, exhaling heavily, her mouth turned into a painful half smile," you're still stuck with me, Mulder."

"Don't say that Scully, I'm not stuck with you. I need you!"

It was rarely, he expressed his feelings in words, and he knew, she would never expect it from him, but lately he was wondering; if she needed him to reassure her of his true feelings. "I love you"

Again, she closed her eyes, "I know you do"

She opened her eyes just before she said the words. Leaning into him, she kissed him softly on the lips, "going into the darkness again is just too painful. So much has been lost. I don't want to go there again, Mulder."

"So it's not me?" the words were muttered under his breath.

"No, it's not you, but what chasing the monsters do to you and what it does to me."

Wrapping his arms tightly around her he held her close, rarely, had he seen her so tired, looking so defeated; like she had given up.

"It was nice to get away huh?"

"Yes, it was" she agreed. It had been nice, just what she needed. Unfortunately, the week away hadn't given her the peace she sought, hadn't gotten her out of her head. Maybe that was too much to ask for alas the life she had lived so far. Fortunately, the vacation had given her the chance to reconnect with her heart, the distant sounds of it had become loud and clear by the first stoke of his hand on her bare skin.

She loved him, always had. Fleetingly, she had believed in the possibility of walking away from him. It had been the darkness she had turned her back to and not him.

Startled by the phone, she shivered in his arms, breaking the embrace she turned to the phone.

"Hallo?" a few seconds passed before he heard her voice again.

"That's me, who are you?"

Another pause. "Well, I've been away for a few days, do I know you?"

Expecting that it was from the hospital, he picked up their bags and carried them to the bedroom, he had enjoyed sharing a home with Scully for the past six years.

Returning to the living-room, the first thing he noticed was the quietness, quickly his eyes found Scully. She was standing very still next to the phone, her head bowed and her body stiff. Worried, he walked to her; "something's wrong?"

Slowly, she lifted her face, it was damp from tears. Her eyes flew to his

"it… it was Mrs. Van De Kamp."

"A mother of one of your patients?" he asked.

"No! " Breathing out, she paused, "she and her husband adopted William, she claims" She stopped abruptly. Shivering, she threw her arms around herself, trying to steady her body, it came to little effort, her legs couldn't carry her weight.

Within, what felt like, a split of a second, she felt his arms around her, gratefully her body leaned into his and bashed in his strength.

"What did she want?" he mumbled in her hair.

She felt his tension, it matched her own, with a failing voice she replied;

"She wanted us to come to her home as fast as possible, she wouldn't say why in the phone but William is fine, she promised."

She could only hope it was true and that the woman was indeed Mrs. Van De Kamp.

"Where are we going?"

"Arizona"

"If you pack I will book flight tickets"

Before he let go of her, he tightened his hold on her and kissed her hard just below her ear. The deadly whiteness of her face hadn't left her and she trembled violently in his arms.

"Scully, you ok?" Worried he studied her face.

Stepping back, she looked at her shoes, purposely avoiding his stare, she was far from ok. The sharp pain in her chest and stomach was back just as bad as it was that night, when she stood beside William's small bed. That moment, when the decision had come clear in her mind, her heart had stopped beating for seconds and her breathing had become hollow. Like a bright light, it had blinded her, made her want to die. Indeed, something had died in her that moment, a part of her that would never heal, leaving her heart incomplete. It was the worst nightmare a parent could ever face, the loss of a child,

it wasn't supposed to happen.

It had happened to her twice. Twice, she had failed to protect one of her children, twice she was forced to let a child go. The first wound had easily reopened, tearing her apart, when she had to give her son up.

Her and Mulder's son!

Had the pain ever faded? Had she ever made peace with her choice? Her choice of giving William up?

She had managed to dull her pain to some degree, storing it as far away in her heart as possible. She had to believe it had been the only choice, the only way to give her son a normal and safe life. Otherwise she would go crazy.

But she had never made peace with her loss, accepted it but she could never find peace.

"Scully?"

Still not looking at him, she offered softly;

"I'm fine, Mulder"

Stepping away from him she headed for the bedroom; "I will pack." Against her will the tears in her eyes became visible. Why she needed to hide them from him she didn't know, only that it would hurt him, but she was powerless to act differently.

Thoughtlessly, she closed the door behind her. Sitting on the bed she hid her face in her hands. Muffled sorbs escaped her damp fingers, this was the day she had given up hoping for would ever come. The day, she received a life proof from her son, the sign she never

had expected would come.

She had prayed with a bleeding heart full of guilt, only to see her prayers turn into curses. She hadn't resigned from the church or stopped praying but her prayers revolved empty, at times. Her faith had slipped like sand through her fingers. Mulder had put

it into words; 'our son left us with an emptiness that can't be

filled.'

The emptiness had grown inside her until it almost consumed all of her.

Silently, the door was pushed open, she felt him before she heard him; "I'm not the only trusting one, Scully?"

"No, you're not, Mulder" she sighed.

Sitting next to her he pulled her gently into his arms, "will you be okay?"

"I don't know, I don't understand. Why is she calling us? Why now?"Her hot tears damped his shirt.

"I don't know, Scully, but we need to know. We can't ignore hereven if we wanted" Resting his forehead against her forehead, he sat very still for a while. "Our plane leaves in one and a half hour, we need to get going"

Swiftly, she got up and emptied the bags into the basket for dirty clothes. Staring blindly at the clothes in their shared closet, she, absentmindedly, reached for the pieces she guessed they would need for a few days. She had no idea just for how long they would be

gone and clothes were the last thing on her mind.

In the adjoining bathroom she washed her face with cold water, hoping to remove the evidences of her pain and unspoken hope. A hope she dared not believe in. Not yet.

Coming back into the bed-room she found Mulder on the bed in the same position, he previously had found her in. Now, she offered him the same comfort; her arms and lips. His face glowing with a similar pain she felt in her heart.

Only, she knew, he carried a heavier sense of guilt, the guilt of not being there, when they needed him most.

"Are you ready?" she asked, softly.

They didn't speak again before arriving in the parking lot at the airport, they were used to the silence between them; it had never become awkward or unfriendly, like it wasn't now. It was a part of their relationship, part of the respect they had for each other.

Both were burden with hunting thoughts and memories. Losing William had never been a shared experience, sure she had explained, Skinner and agent Doggett had explained, but the fact was, that she had been alone when their son was lost. A son he hadn't many memories of.

She had been the one to face the madness and the one to make the decision. He had had to deal with it in the aftermath, loosing something that from the beginning had been out of his reach. Now, it was difficult to share the emotions coming from two diverse places.

"I can feel you are thinking and so am I, but Scully you won't be alone this time, I promise" The pleading in his voice touched her.

Exhaling, she turned her head towards him, "thank you."

Tears formed in her eyes, she needed him. This time there wouldn't be any friendly colleagues to help her, and she only wanted him, like she had in the past.

Reaching her hand out, she felt him take it and bring it to his lips, they were warm on her cold skin, a reminder of that they were still alive and that time didn't stand still.

"Mulder, it's time if we don't want to be late" the urgent edge in her rushed voice wasn't lost on him, he was sure, it was found in his own, when he said; "we won't be too late!"

Arizona

6:30 p.m.

The arrival in Arizona went smoothly, it was getting late and she had promised to call as soon as they landed. All she had gotten earlier was the phone number to the Van De Kamps.

Directions was given in the short conversation over the payphone, still, Mrs. Van De Kamp assured her William was okay, but wouldn't discuss matters further on the phone.

Scully felt exhausted after the short conversation, her imagination more lively and frightening than the truth had ever been.

Looking around she spotted Mulder on his way over to her, the very sight of him made her heart beat a little faster, as usual, equally commonly, she noticed the approving glares he got from bypassing women.

A woman, standing close to Scully, stubbornly kept her stare on him; he noticed it and returned her stare briefly. Once, she had hated and dreaded, how he always drifted away from her when a beautiful woman was near. Today, she lacked the energy and she had grown older, realising he never drifted, just looked for a short moment.

But he never failed to surprise her, now, with a small smile on his lips, he turned his sparkling eyes to her, and walked close enough to kiss her passionately on her full lips,

"let's give Mrs. Stare something to talk about" he whispered into her ear.

She relaxed deep into his arms. It was a welcome distraction, a display rarely showed in public.

"Mrs. Van De Kamp wants us to come right away and it will take us close to two hours to get there." She managed to say when the kiss stopped.

"The car is ready" but he didn't release her before he had kissed her again, this time gently.

Arizona

8.30 p.m.

It was a typical homestead; like so many they had come across during the years with the FBI. There was no close neighbours and no personality to the place, except the small children's playground in front of the house. Scully felt a pain of longing in her heart

when her eyes landed on it. Again, she felt the warmness from his hand squeezing hers. It was so different and yet so familiar to the days six years ago.

Mulder parked the car and slowly she opened her door, her body felt stiff and unmoveable. When she was half out of the car, the front door opened and a man and woman appeared on the veranda, they fit in here. Both were commonly looking with brownish hair and plain dresses, they seemed to be used to hard work outside.

Scanning their faces, Scully saw warmness and gentleness in both features and her heart warmed a little, they were good people. They were not her and Mulder, but she was sure, they were able to love a small boy honestly.

By the time she got out of the car Mulder was standing next to her, Grateful, she found his hand.

"You ok?" he whispered.

Nodding her head slightly, she started walking towards the Van De Kamps.

"Mr. and Mrs. Van De Kamp" she asked with a shaking voice.

They nodded. "I am Dana Scully and this is Fox Mulder"

"Yes, we were expecting you, come in" the man offered in a not too friendly voice. His wife stepped forward and accepted Scully's hand. "I've been waiting for you, do come in." Before she turned around, she nodded kindly to Mulder.

Exhaling, Scully gazed at Mulder, he met her eyes in a reassuring way, but she could tell he was as lost and nervous as she was. The inside of the house matched the outside; it was comfortable but told little of its inhabitants, the only colourfulness in the

first floor was the toys spread on the floor.

"Oh I'm sorry about the mess but I've just put Will down to sleep." Mrs. Van De Kamp apologized.

"No need to apologize" Scully stated, it calmed her nerves to see hard evidence of a boy living in this house. Her sacrifice hadn't been in vain, she hoped.

"I don't mind" she took a deep breath, if any of this was true; this was the woman who had been William's mother for almost six years. Mrs. Van De Kamp may not be what she had wanted for her son, but the woman appeared trustworthy.

Was she trustworthy?

They had been played a hook so many times before and this was her bleeding point, her soft spot. Her son!

"Please sit down" Mrs. Van De Kamp pointed to the sofa, "Gerry, will you get the coffee?"

She followed Mulder to the sofa and situated herself beside him, instantly he inched closer to her and took her hand in his. She was still unwilling to ask any questions and

he seemed to be as cautious.

She looked at the slightly older woman sitting next to her in an armchair, the woman folded her hands in her lap, nervously biting her lips and avoided looking at them. Finally, looking up she made eye contact with Scully.

"I can see where he has got his eyes from, his beautiful eyes." She half smiled, "you must wonder why I called you, Gerry wonders too, but I just knew it was time. It was always just a matter of time." Pausing, she looked at her hands again.

"I used to ask why a mother would give up a perfectly, healthy child, I doubted the mother could be well in her head, and expected Will to be badly hurt by someone this cold."

Trembling, Scully broke the brief silence, "It wasn't easy; never has been. It was a difficult time."

"Oh, don't worry, after a short period of time, I came to understand that Will come from a loving mother, he was so well-balanced and trusting."

Scully relaxed.

"Will cried a lot when he first came, I figured it was normal and I even fooled myself into believing, he couldn't remember his real mother. That every time he looked into thin air with questions in his eyes and started to cry, when he didn't find

what he was looking for, was normal behaviour for a baby. I had wanted a child for so long and I loved Will right away."

"You kept his name, William?" Scully asked very softly, she hadn't moved an inch in the sofa but her hold on Mulder's hand had become hurting.

"No, not at first, we wanted to name the baby after Gerry's father; Henry. But Will screamed loudly every-time we called him that, even after weeks. We gave up and called him William again, after that he began to settle in."

"Thank you" The tears was now running down Scully's chins, her baby had known what had been lost.

"Like I said, Will settled in, he never stopped looking for something but he was happy. His first word made me so happy, it was mommy. For days I was walking on clouds, until I realised he never looked at me, when he said mommy, but stared into the thin air, every-time. A few weeks later he said mom to me, then I knew. Unlike what all the experts say, Will remembered his real mother and he still longed for her. For you Mrs. Scully!"

She looked Scully in the eyes, "he is a special boy and you must have been very special with him since he remembers."

"He was a miracle child from the start" Scully explained, locking eyes with Mulder, she continued, "at least to his dad and I." He smiled back at her with unshed tears in his eyes.

"Oh, you're the father?"

"Yes, yes I am" Mulder stated.

Mrs. Van De Kamp looked confused but looking closely at Mulder she smiled, "I can see that. Will grew and learned more words; he was a fast speaker, eager to learn. When he was about three, he started to talk about his other mommy. His first mommy,

he calls you. He would say you used to sing to him and told meyou had the same colour of eyes as his. And he was right; he has his eyes from you and the shape of his face. It's scary when he speaks that way, he still does. I think I would have been sacred to death, if I hadn't learned from very early on to accept him like he is. Accept that I only would have Will for a short period of time. He never belonged with us. Gerry just won't accept it."

"What do you mean with that you would only have him for a short period of time? Is he sick?" Mulder had to ask, he knew how Scully's mind worked.

"No! He is not sick, but he just a special boy and he made it clear from the beginning, that he wasn't to grow up here."

"What do you mean Mrs. Van De Kamp?" Scully leaned forward, her heart beating fast, had William been in danger?

Mr. Van De Kamp came to them with mugs filled with hot coffee and chocolate chips. He placed the mugs before them together with a pot of milk and a bowl of sugar. Afterwards he went to stand behind his wife. It was clearly, this meeting hadn't been his idea.

He squeezed her shoulders as he was trying to prevent her from speaking.

"Will is special; he senses people and their intentions. We have always kept quiet about that, not knowing what to make of it. Sometimes he knows what will happens before it happens. And he never stopped talking about the day you would come for him. Gerry always said it was natural for an adopted boy to hope for that, that it didn't mean anything."

"But you thought it did Mrs. Van Der Kamp?" If it wasn't for the thickness of her voice, she sounded exactly like she was questioning a witness, in the days.

"Mrs. Scully"

"Just call me Dana"

"All right and I'm Molly. I hoped for the longest time that Gerry was right but I can't deny the truth, Will wasn't just hoping, he was expecting it to happen and now…"

"Now what, Mrs. Van De Kamp?" Mulder studied the woman, something was left unsaid.

"A week ago official men came to our door, claiming they gathered blood samples from all the kids in this area. Will wasn't home when they came and when he heard me talk to his dad about it, he said they mustn't find him. He's just a little boy, why does he say such things? It's like he knows something but he can't, he is just a boy."

"Why would they collect blood tests from the children, Molly?"

"They said they want to improve the vaccine program."

"What else happened?" Scully was alert, she had always feared this, that the super soldiers would find her son. She leaned forward in her seat, unable to relax.

"When I drove over to drink coffee with Melinda, she said nobody had come to her house to gather blood tests from her children. Her youngest is at Will's age. I just knew it was time. But I didn't have any information on you."

They shared a long look before Scully withdrew her eyes from Mulder's, this had nothing to do with a vaccine program.

"How did you find me?"

The question made Molly smile, "well, I called the adoption agency, the woman who handled the adoption refused to give me any information, at least, until I lied and told her Will was sick and I needed some information. She said she could do nothing until she had his medical journal. That made me nervous, until I remembered the medical

examinations Will had been though, before he came to us. When I reminded her of them, she gave me your information. Luckily, an agent Reyes had updated her on you a few days before. I found that odd, an agent?"

This was getting more and more weird by the minute; Scully saw her thoughts reflected in Mulder's eyes, when she shared another gaze with him.

"Have the men been back for the blood test?"

"No, they will come tomorrow afternoon, that's why I asked you to come tonight."

"Have you reason to believe the men will hurt William?" Mulder steadied his voice, it was what he feared.

"It seems odd that they only want a blood test from Will, they still haven't been to Melinda's homestead. And Will have been worried. Has this something to do with you Dana or you Mr. Mulder?"

"We used to work in a special unit with the FBI, it endangered William's and our lives. It was one of the reasons why I gave him up. He was a very special boy, when he was born." She offered no more.

"It breaks my heart, but I think you should leave with the boy in the morning. I've asked the agency to write up new adoption papers."

"Thank you Mrs. and Mr. Van De Kamp" Scully cried, soon she felt Mulder's arms around her and she cried quietly into his chest.

"I only want what is best for the boy." Molly quietly replied, she was crying as well and her husband offered no comfort.

"If you are ready, I will take you to Will, he is sleeping but you must be dying to see him."

Molly stood up, Scully and Mulder followed her example, abruptly. Scully felt faintly, dizzy and afraid to believe, she was about to see her son for the first time in six years, afraid the boy wouldn't be her son or that Molly would regret her offered sacrifice.

The law was on Molly's side, if she regretted before the papers were signed, William would disappear out of her life again, and she would only be able to watch it happening.

Fortunately, she wasn't alone this time, Mulder was here. For the past six years they had hardly been apart, just recently with Mulder becoming involved with the FBI again.

They followed Molly upstairs and down the hall, a soft light came from a door left ajar. Silently, Molly walked to the door and pushed it open.

Scully exhaled heavy and tightened her hold on Mulder's hand, before she stepped into the room just behind Molly.

It was impossible for her to see the bed in the dark, therefore she took a quick look around the room. It was held in blue colours and it felt cosy until her eyes landed on a shell full of spaceships. Unexpectedly, she shivered from cold fear; it was the last thing she wanted around her son, alien toys. She felt Mulder stiffen when he followed her stare. Ironic, how the past caught up with them these days.

Focusing on Molly, she was waved over to the bed. Bathed in the soft moonlight lay William. He was a slender boy with pale skin, the same colour of hair as Mulder and…and he had the same mouth as Mulder! She bowed down and gently patted his chin with her

index finger, almost afraid to touch him, afraid he would vanish into thin air.

God he was beautiful!

A true miracle.

Could this really be her son, her and Mulder's son?

Tuning into her surroundings, she felt Mulder beside her, he was also kneeling down beside the bed. His face expressed awe and gratefulness. He turned his head and leaned his forehead against hers; "he has your nose" he whispered gladly.

Smiling, she added "and your mouth"

"Hope you don't mind?" he joked. He always did when he became emotionally.

"I don't" She giggled quietly, "you've a perfect mouth."

"Ah, thank you."

They watched the boy for a little while, both in awe. They had given life to this miracles boy. Adjusting to the fact that William wasn't a baby anymore they just breathed him in, logically Scully had known, her son had grown but without images, he had stayed a

baby in her mind.

Briefly, she detected a touch of his unique baby smell she had cherished so much, she was back in her old apartment watching her baby sleeping in his crib. The time had been so bittersweet, her payers had been answered. A baby with Mulder, it had been her

biggest wish for years and it had been granted. But everything had gone wrong; Mulder was forced to leave them and her baby was in danger and too special to be safe.

Everything appeared to come with a price.

Closing her eyes tight, she calmed herself before opening them again to find Mulder next to her, his arm around her shoulders and her son alive. Perhaps new prayers had been heard.

Reluctantly, Mulder stepped away from the bed "I think we should go down to the Van De Kamps again"

As disinclined, she agreed "But what if Molly is lying, what if we never see him again?"

"We will, I promise you" he kissed her on the forehead. She had scarified so much, always following him. Her loyalty humbled him, kept his feet on the ground.

They took a private moment in the hallway, clinging to each other they found comfort and hope, hope they had lost six years ago. The shadow always hanging over their relationship had brightened and for the moment allowed small rays of moonlight though.

Hand in hand they re-entered the living-room. Molly was sitting alone at the dinner-table, Gerry was no where to be seen. Clearing his throat Mulder got Molly's attention, she looked up at them with an expression of clarity and sorrow.

"Dana, I've something you wanna see, please come" hesitating, she looked from Scully to Mulder and back to Mulder again, "you're welcome too, Mr. Mulder"

Puzzled, Scully chose the chair next to Molly, "you know Molly, Mulder is not the reason why William was put up for adoption."

"Oh, but I was told you were a single mother…?" Sending Mulder a sharp look she stopped her sentence.

"Due to the circumstances I was, but it never really was our choice. We both wanted William" There was no anger in Scully's voice, she would have come to the same conclusion, if she been walking in Molly's shoes.

"Mrs. Van De Kamp, if it had been an option, I would never have left Scully and William, I whish I had been there to protect them. But the truth is; that my presence would have put them in more danger. It was never easy, believe me"

"And what about now, will you leave?" clearly, she mistrusted him.

"No! I will not leave them again. It will not be an option this time." The question had been asked by a stranger, and he answered her, but his focus was on Scully, and it was her eyes he looked into, when he answered and her hand he caressed.

Obviously satisfied, Molly pushed an open picture album in front of Scully, "these are pictures of William. This was taken on the day he came to us."

With teary eyes Scully caressed William's face on the picture; he was wearing the clothes she had carefully chosen for him. Memorizing their last morning together she felt the same pain, the same hopelessness and the same unbearable hole in her heart. She had forced herself not to regret, not to run as far away with William as she could; knowing it would solve nothing. And the hope of ever seeing Mulder again had become dull.

She heard Mulder gasp beside her, realizing that he never had seen William in this age. She pitied how much he had lost, turning her head, she gently kissed his chin.

"It's okay, Mulder. We will be okay, now."

"You deserve more Scully, you have so much more to do with your life."

"Now, I've all I ever wanted." Her eyes never wandered from his.

"I can't loose you!" he pleaded.

"You won't"

Smiling, they directed their attentions to the pictures.

Later Molly showed them into a spare-room, her hospitality was generous; she welcomed them into her home even though they would offer her great pain in return. Mulder left the women alone to get a few of their things from the car.

"Do you have other children, Dana?"

"No, I can't have anymore children." They shared their disabilities to conceive and the pain.

"Goodnight then." Molly left, Scully listened to the distant footsteps; they stopped before they reach the bedroom, just outside a small boy's bedroom. Ignoring her own longings,

she closed the door to allow Molly some privacy on her last night with her borrowed son. Scully and Mulder's son.

As soon as she slide into the bed Mulder dragged her into his arms, resting her head on his chest, she exhaled and relaxed her tense muscles. His familiar scent never creased to bring her a deep sense of security and a feeling of belonging.

Even, when she had denied her deeper feelings for him, she felt an unexplained belonging in his arms. Perhaps that was why, she never had searched elsewhere and why he hadn't neither.

"I will take a blood test when we get home" she stated tiredly.

"You doubt that he is our son?" he sounded unsurprised.

"No, not really. The Van De Kamps and the homestead fit the profile agent Reyes gave me when she came back from here, and she told me he was in Arizona. I just need to know that he's still a healthy boy."

"You never told me he was in Arizona?"

She hated the hint of hurt in his voice, "no, I feared we would start searching for him, if we both knew his location. I thought it would be my punishment to bear, I'm sorry"

"Scully, are you still scared that I haven't forgiven you?" with his index finger he lifted her head up so their eyes locked.

"No," she lied, "well maybe… I don't know, Mulder."

"I have never blamed you, Scully, you did what you had to do. You had no choice. There is nothing to forgive!"

"Thank you" she whispered.

"What about you, Scully, have you forgiven me?"

"Like you said we had no choice. I wish you had been there during my pregnancy and when William was still living with me, but I have nothing to forgive you. It was how things were."

"I just hope in time we will forgive ourselves." He muttered.

"I'm scared Mulder, what if Molly changes her mind during the night, what if William is traumatised by us taking him away from his home. What if we can't protect him, what if it starts all over again?" She was crying now.

"I can't promise you anything, Scully, except that I will be there through whatever happens. We have to believe everything happens for a reason, we have been given a second chance and we fear the possibilities. But the truth is still the same."

"Which is what?"

He claimed her lips in a long and deep kiss.

Arizona

April 9th 7 a.m.

They had managed to get a few hours sleep, something they both would swear had been impossible, but their bodies had caught up with them eventually. Now, they sat on the bed fully dressed, the sun had just come up and promised a beautiful, sunny day. In silence they held on to each other's hand.

The silence were broken by small, running footsteps stopping outside their door, eyes meeting eyes in a state of shock were disturbed by a door being pushed open. It was their door, now, wide ajar.

The brown-haired boy hurried into the room, his eyes were locked on the woman frozen on the bed, his stare intense and demanding until he stopped inches from her.

Looking into a pair of familiar eyes Scully smiled softly and reached out for her son. Placing her hands on his small shoulders, she kept staring into the boy's eyes; they were identical to her own. Holding his face between her hands, her thumbs caressed his cheeks. He was so beautiful, perfect.

"Mommy" The boy whispered with no doubt in this small voice.

"Oh, William" she whispered back.

"I remember you, you cried a lot when I was a baby but you always sang to me."

"How can you possible remember, you were so young."

Tears ran generously down her face. She drew him into her arms in a tight hug, while she, at the same time, patted his hair.

"I just do." He stated.

"William, I would like you to meet your father, Fox Mulder" It demanded all her willpower to let William out of her strong embrace.

She watched how father and son studied each other in silence, Mulder with tears in his eyes and William with a revealed expression, like a question had been answered.

"I don't remember you so I thought you were dead and that's why mommy cried all the time."

"I'm not dead" Mulder replied, before he hugged his son for the first time since William was a few days old.

Eye-locking, they shared a moment of peace, a moment of bless, they had never dared to hope for, secretly, prayed for but never truly believed in. Both were touched beyond words, both afraid this would be a stolen moment with a future taken from them.

It all depended on others, always had. They could only hope it wouldn't forever.

She had seen love for her in his eyes before, in fact it had been there almost constantly for 15 years, but in this moment it wasn't mixed with fear. Fear of loosing her and fear of being the reason to her exit. She pulled both of them into her arms, something

she hadn't been able to do in such a long time, not since the few days they spent as a family, almost seven years ago.

The moment was broken, when Molly announced her presence by knocking on the door, "breakfast is ready, please hurry."

For a long time she stared at William in his parent's arms, her stare made Scully uncomfortable and she broke the tender moment. She too well remembered the heartbroken pain, when she was forced to give up her son, and when Mulder had disappeared.

In respect of the woman, she leaned slightly away from her family. Refusing to accept her withdrawal Mulder pushed her closer to him again, feeling her tense, he looked up and saw Molly. Sensing the conflicts in both women, he let go of Scully after a reassuring hug.

William ran to his mom and hugged her, "see, I told you my mommy would come, and my dad also came."

"I never doubted you Will," she smiled to the little boy, "I just didn't think it would be this soon. Are you ready?" The question held a deeper meaning.

"Sure mom, I packed yesterday." There was no sorrow to see in his face, he was an extraordinary boy, a wise boy in a young body. Not what Scully had wished for her son.

But better than how he had started out.

"Come with me Will" Molly took the boy by hand.

"Hurry mommy and daddy" he yelled when he left the room.

"Scully, you ok?" Mulder came closer to her, watching her intensely.

"I will be when we're leaving; I had stopped praying for seeing him again until recently. I gave up." Staring blindly at him, she was lost in her own world.

"What changed your mind?" Needing a physical connection he found her hand, it was cold.

"Father Joseph Crissman!" the glare she gave him was stern, demanding him to keep quiet.

"He did? When?" Not one to take hints, he asked anyway.

"On the ice field he told me not to give up, I thought the words were meant for you but you told me, Father Joseph said those words to me and not to you. That they were meant for me. It made me believe; I shouldn't give up on Christian, err and you…"

"Why me?" He looked curiously at her.

"I was about to let you go, Mulder." Tears shed in her eyes as she held her breath.

"I know, but I wouldn't have let you go"

"But it wasn't you or Christian I had given up on, it was William. I had accepted to pay my penalties for my sins."

"You don't believe that…paying penalty?"

Mischievously, smiling she replied, "I don't?" She wasn't sure herself.

"I know you belong to the Catholic Church, Scully, but it's just about controlling. Is it because I wasn't there? "

"Mulder, not everything is about you!" She stared directly at him.

"Was that why you wouldn't help me with the case?" He ignored her statement like he usually did.

"Yes" She bit her lip from inside and looked at her shoes. "I refuse to give more to the darkness, and it felt like I was loosing you all over again. Like I would pay with everything I love. I've follow you for 15 years now and almost lost you repeatedly, I can't do it anymore."

"You are always the one to rescue me, Scully, you've been my constant for15 years, the only one I trust. This time we will walk the path together, I promise. You won't loose me."

"Thank you"

Entering the kitchen they found the Van De Kamps. William enjoyed his breakfast but it seemed harder for the spouses to eat anything. Molly nodded for two chairs and handed Scully some papers.

While Mulder poured them two cups of coffee, she scanned the papers; it was new adoptions papers, already signed by the Van De Kamps.

"They came by e-mail this morning." Molly explained.

Scully looked closely at the papers, they looked similar to the ones she had signed years ago. With no reason to doubt the authority, she took the offered pen from Molly.

"Just sign my copy and take the other two copies with you. I prefer that you send the papers to the agency," Molly said with mo emotion in her voice.

Looking at Mulder, she hesitated, she never rushed and always doubled checked her information, but she had little doubt that Molly was sincere and that William was their son, he nodded. Signing the paper, she realised her name was the only one signed as the adopting parent. Her eyes flew to Mulder's.

"It's okay, Scully." He didn't look okay with it.

"It's not. We will change it." It was about time he official became William's father.

"Maybe it's still best to be quiet about his fatherhood, it was never common knowledge."

Hating the lack of emotions in his voice, she firmly stated; "I'm tired of all the secrets!"

"Okay" he wasn't one to object to that.

"I think you should leave right away." Gerry spoke for the first time since they arrived.

Scully swallowed the last piece of bread and sorted the copies out, leaving one for the Van De Kamps, assured it was rightfully signed, she stood up.

"We will pack the car while you say goodbye," she reached for Molly's hand "we will take good care of him, we've always loved him, always will. Thank you"

The gift was the greatest sacrifice and received with respect. Time had passed and now the roles had reversed.

Standing beside the car, she exhaled deeply, supporting her body on the car, she played with the cross hanging around her neck. "It is real, Mulder, we got him back. I've the signed papers"

"You prayed a lot." He gently joked. Memories of returning and finding her heavy pregnant played in his mind.

"Huh?"

"You told me that when I was struggling with your pregnancy, thinking you had replaced me, remember?"

"I did, didn't I? So much for you hunch, Mulder." Raising one eyebrow, she kindly mocked him.

"Ohm, what can I say; I was jealous"

"Jealous?" She looked sceptical.

"Yeah, I wanted to be the father, be like we used to be again and agent Doggett didn't help."

"Agent Doggett?" Bewildered, she looked at him.

"He was sweet on you, Scully, don't tell me you didn't know. It was obviously. He would've jumped all over you, baby or not and you cared for him" He pouted childish.

"John Doggett was a great support when you were gone, both times. And he saved my life, he was trustworthy. I didn't flirt with him or other men, or ditch you for any of them." She was hurt and it came out as anger, didn't he know her better than that?

"Who did I flirt with or ditch you for?"

"Try with Phoebe Green, detective White and Diana Fowley."

"Okay, I was burnt with Phoebe, guilty as charged but with detective White, I never was guilty. She jumped on me. Diana was a friend until she stabbed a knife into my back, I never flirted with her!"

"A friend! She stayed the night with you, in your bed!" she never broke her gaze, she was being childish but the stress got the better of her.

"Scully, I was sick!" quietly he added "I throw her out of my bed, you had barely left it how could I invite another woman into it. And I never asked her to come, she found me."

"You never told me" she softened, stepping closer to him she willingly went into his open arms.

"You never asked. And I asked for you repeatedly, you know that."

"Yeah." She relaxed and cherished his arms around her.

The homestead door reopened and out stepped William with a small Spiderman bag on his back, the Van De Kamps followed behind, both red-eyed from crying. William turned around and kissed them one last time, before he walked down to his parents.

Scully helped her son into the car and fasten the seatbelt in the child's seat that Molly had given them. She paused and smiled to him before she buckled him up, unable to stop herself, she bent down and kissed him softly on the forehead.

"You're ready, sweetheart?"

"Yeah mommy." Smiling, he seemed in good spirit though his eyes were tear-filled. If he had been heartbroken, she doubted she would've been able to take him with her, wanting the best for her son, but luckily it wasn't the case. Her son wanted to come with them and he wasn't scared of them. She was truly blessed.

"Let's go home" Mulder said to them both, his words rushed her into the car.

"Okay dad." She giggled happily.

For a while they drove in silence, images of Gibson kept running though Scully's mind, she hoped Molly's hinting at William's ability of sensing things, didn't have any similarities to

Gibson's ability of reading minds.

She prayed, Spender had been honest in claiming the injection had turned William into an ordinary boy. But could the boy be ordinary with the parents he had, and the things performed on their bodies? Both had been exposed to alien virus and possible alien DNA.

"Where are we going?" William asked from the backseat.

"West Virginia, that's where we live. We have a big house with a big garden. We'll have to decorate a room for you, sweetheart." Scully answered.

"Is that far away?" He sounded more curious than worried.

"Yes, we have to catch a plane. We will be home in the afternoon."

"Why don't you have more children?"

"It wasn't easy for us to have you, son, I don't think we can have more children." This time it was Mulder answering the question, knowing it still troubled Scully, that they most likely wouldn't have any more children.

He looked from William to Scully; she was troubled he could tell.

The drive to the airport was peaceful with William endless line of questions. He was a curious and talkative child. His eyes closely followed Scully, and she often turned to

him or looked at him in the car mirrors. What was a normal ride for most people had until now been an unreachable dream for them.

In the airport they headed for Dairy Queen both William and Mulder were hungry, they blended perfectly in with the other families and were rewarded with smiles and hugs from William. It was his first time in an Airport; his adopted parents had been plain hardworking people who never had time to travel.

On board the plane the boy was excited, he beamed when he got the seat next to the window and his mother. He had been worried, when she had left them for a short stop in the airport but eased, when she returned 10 minutes later. Reassuring him she would always come back to him, no matter what.

Scully looked younger and happier, almost like she had when they started sleeping together. He hadn't realised how stressed she was, not until now, when he saw the hard lines disappearing from her face. To him she had stayed beautiful but now she was stunning, glowing with happiness.

He wasn't the only one gazing at her; many men turned their heads in the plane just like others had done in the Airport. Briefly, he frowned, since quitting the FBI they had lived quietly, without competitors demanding attentions. But he remembered the years

with the FBI and how many times, he had been asked to put in a word to Scully from a smitten agent or law man. He was sure it hadn't been so much the other way around; he was spooky Mulder.

"What is it, Mulder?" She had watched him for a while without getting any reaction from him.

"Nothing." He lied

"It must be something" she took his hand, knowing every look on his face, something was troubling him.

Turning his head towards her, he smile boyishly; "just thinking I should start working out, I'm an old man"

"Working out, huh, why?"

"Come on Scully, you must se all the dribbling men, and well, I'm no Eddie Van Blundht"

Giggling, she leaned her face close to his, "I hope not! It would be an X-File."

"Yes it would, and not a case I would like." Now, he was smiling too.

"Mulder, I don't see them. Where are they?" Faking interest, she searched the plane with her eyes.

"They are everywhere!"

"That's a little paranoid even for you, Mulder."

"What can I say I'm an alpha man."

She was touched, today he had twice expressed his feelings for Whiney's attraction of Mulder had brought old times back, but since giving birth to William, she had never doubted his feelings and loyalty towards her regarding other women. But chasing

the monsters and truth was another matter. It was impossible to compete with that.

Leaning closer he kissed her, normally, they never expressed affections in public, both feared it would give their enemies a fatal upper-hand, an upper-hand they had had anyways. She leaned in to deepen the kiss. Still, he was a breathtaking man.

"You're not that old, Mulder." She jested.

"Ah, thank you" he laughed

West Virginia

April 9th 3 P.M

Stepping out of the car in front of their house, she saw it with new eyes. Picking the house had been a matter of housing them, trying to get stability in their lives. They had lived here for a year. Moving here because she wanted to work as

a medical doctor with children, needing to be near children, and she had wanted to commit to her faith, therefore choosing a Catholic run hospital.

It had been a mistake, she despised the power the fathers had over the board; their way of practicing wasn't in line with her belief. And they had needed a small town with little interest to the Government of FBI.

It was a large house but was it appealing to a child? William looked tired; picking him up from the seat she carried him into the house.

"Would you like a nap sweetheart?" she asked, "or are you hungry?"

She enjoyed the feeling of his head nesting into her shoulder. A big burden had been lifted from her shoulders, today.

"Tired" he mumbled. She walked to the bedroom and sat him on the bed, gently helping him out of his clothes and tugging him in.

"Sleep well William,"she whispered before kissing his rounded cheek. He smelled so good.

"Is he sleeping?" Mulder was making coffee for them in them in kitchen.

"It won't be long" smiling, she accepted the mug of instant coffee. "Ohm, a lifesaver."

"Yeah, "he smiled back. "You want to go shopping later?"

"Huh?" the coffee was just perfect, "sure, we need a lot of things. He needs new clothes and furniture and toys. It will be fun." Lifting her eyebrow, she stared at him.

"It will!" he joked, "I can start painting his room tomorrow, when are you due at the hospital?"

"I will ask for a week or two off." Gazing at him she added, "it will be good to slow down for a while,"

"You keep saying that but you never do" he blinked.

It was the truth; she had wanted to slow down for years but ended up working as much as usually.

He, on the other hand, never wanted to slow down but circumstances had forced him to.

Resting on the sofa with new fillings of coffee they smiled at each other, both tired but very grateful.

Like Scully had said it was fun shopping with William, he was overwhelmed with excitement, especially when he was allowed to choose his own bed and the colours for the walls in his room. They bought some new toys, not much, Molly had promised

to send most of his old toys to them. Tired they returned to the house with their new stuff and pizzas.

Tugging the boy in on a madras on the bedroom floor

Scully started to sing;

Jeremiah Bullfrog was a friend of mine.

Never understood a single word he said

but I helped him drink his… milk.

Joy to the world.

All the boys and girls.

Joy to all the fishes and the deep blue sea

Joy to you and me"

Her singing made William and Mulder smile; it was the only song she knew by heart, and therefore the one she always chose. She lingered in the door watching the small boy on the floor. Behind her she heard the phone start ringing. Closing the door behind her, she walked into the living-room.

"Skinner?" Mulder's voice was thick with surprise as he turned to look at Scully, who frowned.

"Now isn't a good time."

"I understand"

"Now may not be the time. We can't come to Washington."

"Ok, see you tomorrow"

"What did Skinner want?" she asked reluctantly, not really wanting to know.

"He wouldn't say in the phone but he's coming tomorrow, said it was urgent."

Sitting down, she firmly said "I won't risk William again, Mulder, I can't do that. I won't follow you, if it put our son in any danger. Not again."

"I won't do that, Scully. But what if this is concerning William, what if that's why he comes?"

"I hope not!"

April 10th 9 A.M

After breakfast the little family started to paint the room that was to become William's, Scully and Mulder had emptied it the night before for the few items it held. Now, William's

clothes were nearly as blue as the walls and so was Scully's nose thanks to Mulder. They had a very good time.

"Mommy, can I go outside and play?" The little boy had become tired of painting.

"Sure, I will help you change your clothes." Scully offered, gladly accepting the break.

"Oh my God!" she got a shock, when she opened the door and Skinner stood right in front of her.

"Scully, good to see you, too." He smiled, "out of practice, I see"

"Come in, Sir." Turning to her son she smiled, "Don't leave the backyard sweetheart, ok?"

"Ok mommy"

"Mommy?" Skinner raised his eyebrows in question.

"Come in and I will explain." She took his coat. "Mulder, Skinner is here!"

"A cup of coffee, Sir?"

"Drop the Sir, Scully. Yes, thank you. Who's that boy?" He comfortably sat on the chair.

"It's William." She spoke quietly.

"William?"

"He was returned to us yesterday by his adopted parents." She sat across the table.

"Oh, I didn't think it would happen this fast."

"You knew about this?" She was angry.

"Knew about what? Good to see you Skinner" Mulder offered his hand, "and thanks for helping saving my sorry ass."

"He knows about William" Scully stressed the words.

"You do?" Mulder sounded less surprised.

"Not that he had been returned but it wasn't a secret where he lived anymore, I got the papers last week. But it doesn't seem that he was in any danger, just that he was being monitored."

"Why? Who is monitoring him?" she demanded answers.

"That I don't know, I just know someone has for the last two weeks and that FBI wants to reopen the X-Files and specifically ask for you two."

"No! I have a son, I won't do that again." She was horrified. "I've lost him once"

"Why do they want to reopen the X-Files" Mulder asked.

"I don't really know, I have just been informed over the last two weeks. They want me to supervise the two of you. You're given carte blanche."

"We have a son now; we can risk everything for the X-Files or put him in danger"

Scully relaxed when Mulder repeated her earlier words, "I nearly lost Scully and we did loose our son. It's a miracle we got a second chance, they don't come often, you know."

"Maybe it will be safer if you returned to The X-Files, that way you have full access to all information and we have agents who can stepped in and protect you. Here you will be on your own."

Skinner watched them closely; his agents looked well and at peace, the break had done them good. He was glad, they had gotten their son back, he knew how Scully had suffered from her loss, but also how stressed she had been, in the short time, she had had with her son.

"You may be right, but I can't travel the country thin anymore. I want to spend time with William every day." Scully was considering his words, her mind spinning.

"I won't ask you to. There will be some travelling but not like in the old days, I guarantee. We will find a form that suits you when we know more about, what we are up to."

Skinner shared their worries, he had hardly been able to protect them in the past, but he was certain, they would be safer within the Bureau and under his protection.

"You old apartment is up for sale, Scully. As I recall, it had a room for William?"

"It did" she softened; so many memories were bonded to that apartment, a fair share of bad ones but mostly good ones. It was in that apartment Mulder had said yes to become a donor to her child, it had failed, but they had managed to succeed on their own. It was where they had admitted their true feelings and stopped playing around, as they had for a while. It had been their safe haven. In Mulder's apartment, they always feared they

were being watched.

"You know the Bureau now has a school in our building, he would be surrounded by armed agents. And agent Doggett has returned to Washington, I'm sure he will help looking out for William." He was trying to smooth her, he wanted them back.

"Agent Doggett is back, how is he?" Scully had come to respect the man.

Mulder looked slightly uncomfortable, in the end he had come to like the man, but the beginning had been hard. For his taste of liking, Doggett had been too interested in Scully.

"Agent Doggett is fine, he asked for you, Scully." Skinner replied.

She didn't comment it.

"Will you at least consider it?" Skinner looked from Scully to Mulder.

Rolling her eyes Scully nodded, she could tell Mulder was interested as always, some habits died hard, or more accurate, personalities.

"I will leave you for now, give me a call soon. I don't think you should wait too long. I will make sure your apartment is still there when you come." Skinner got up and shook both their hands.

April 12th

11 A.M

Scully watched William playing through the window, he was adapting so well to the changes in his life, often, he spoke about Molly and Gerry but never with regret in his voice. Obviously, he cared about them and had called them a few times, but it felt like he had just waited for her to pick him up and resume their lives together. Just like she had done with Mulder so many times over the years, picking him up after long times of separations and resuming their relationship without doubts.

The only awkwardness had been, when he thought she had moved on and been impregnated by another man, she had waited for him to realise the truth and thanks to the Lone Gunmen he had, swiftly.

It was three days since Skinner had been here and still, she hadn't made up her mind, the darkness always found them, and she couldn't hide her family as she desperately wanted.

"What do you think, Mulder?" Feeling him coming into the room, she didn't turn to look. Breaking the short distance between them, he stood beside her, his attention on their son, too.

"I don't know Scully. I still want to find the truth and 2012 is moving closer, you know. What if we can make a difference? I think we are a part of if whether we want to or not,

all three of us."

"He is so young, Mulder, it doesn't seem fair." She turned her head towards him.

"Was it fair that that you were abducted and left barren, or that my sister was taken when I was 12, or that you nearly died from cancer. Or was Emily fair?"

"No, it wasn't fair and neither was your abduction." She locked eyes with him, "you gave me the gift of believing…"

Pausing she turned her eyes to the small boy outside, "maybe I'm believing but need to make sense of why it keeps happening to us." She sighed. "I will go with you."

Taking her into his arms he held her tight, hoping it was the right decision, and that he this time would be able to keep them safe.

"But I want my own disk"

"You got it, we'll just stop moving around in there." He joked, "no, there will be room!"

FBI Headquarter

Washington DC

April 20th 2008

"We can play battleships" Mulder smiled at her, both were sitting in front of their desks, which were pushed together so they faced each other.

Rolling her eyes, Scully looked at the door which opened. In walked Skinner with a woman.

"I don't believe it" Scully said under her breath, the woman was Phoebe, Mulder's old girlfriend.

"How's you first day, agents." Skinner asked.

"Fine and quiet, Sir." Mulder smiled at Skinner, while he watched Scully from the corner of his eyes.

"How is the apartment, agent Scully?"

"It's good to be home, Sir." She admitted, "and a fine desk I have, if I may say so" she stared deadpan at Skinner.

"Huh, good." Skinner looked oddly at her, "I take it you both know inspector Phoebe Green from London, she has something she wants to share with you."

Scully watched Skinner leaving the room before she gave Phoebe any attention, meanwhile Phoebe had walked to Mulder.

"Hallo Fox, long time no see." She looked like a predator ready to eat it's pray.

"Phoebe" he said.

"Ah, hallo agent Scully" Phoebe granted Scully a short stare.

"Inspector Green" She coldly returned.

"Care for a bite to eat Fox, so we can watch up?" Phoebe invited.

"No thanks, I already have a date with Scully. We can discuss the case afterwards. Let's say in an hour." He got up, took his suit jacket from the chair and walked pass Phoebe.

"Ready, Scully?" He leaned in on her, his lips almost touching hers; she could feel his hot breath.

"Huh" it was unlike Mulder to stick to a simple plan of lunch, when a case was handed to him, "yeah, I' m ready." She got up and took the hand he offered her. Hand in hand they walk out of the office.

"Impressed?" he whispered.

"You never fail to surprise me, Mulder!"


	2. Chapter 2

I've decide to continue the story, it will involve a case but my focus is on Scully and Mulder's relationship. Please review, the only way I'll know if it sucks.

Scully, Mulder and the X-Files belongs to Chris Carter.

Don't Give Up

Chapter two

FBI Headquarter

Washington DC

April 20th 2008

Exactly one hour later they re-entered their basement office, the first thing to catch Scully's eyes was the well-known poster, which had followed Mulder since the beginning of his X-Files career. The second thing, however, erased the smile on her lips, Phoebe Green hadn't vanished, it appeared.

Sitting casually on Mulder's desk with her legs swinging slightly, she begged for attention. The short skirt had moved upward from all the swinging, now, exposing more leg than most women liked to show, Inspector Green seemed uncaring; her focus solely on Mulder.

Scully ran her eyes over Detective Green's features in a swift movement, turning her eyes to the left side, she met Mulder's amused ones. He was tipping from one foot to another. She wasn't amused, not at all.

"Well Phoebe, care to jump down from my desk and share the details of your visit with us?" Turning away from Phoebe, he headed for the hall stand, "you want me to take your coat, Sully?"

"No, no thanks" Blinking her eyes rapidly a few times, she followed him to the hall stand. Twisting out of her coat she sighed, working with Phoebe would test her patience, last time their ways had crossed Mulder's life had been endangered by this woman. She had sent him into fire knowing how he feared it.

Turning around Scully saw Mulder sitting on her desk, his own chair now occupied by Phoebe, nodding his head towards her chair, he silently asked her to join him. Taking a deep breath, she did as asked, pushing his legs aside to make room for her, "do you mind, Mulder" she asked.

"Nah" stressing the word with a shrugging of his shoulders, he didn't move a bit, "are you expecting me to sit between your legs, or will you separate yourself from the chair and pushed it out to me?" She hissed.

"Agent Scully! What are you suggesting?" When she just frowned at him, he continued, "you do know we are not alone, don't you?"

"Mulder, move your damn legs for heaven's sake!" With a smirk he obeyed, moving just enough to make room for her, his legs touched hers when she finally sat down. Sighing, she gave up; it would be a waste of energy to make him move any further.

Through it all, Phoebe watched their exchange with deep interest, narrowing her eyes, she studied Agent Scully, the woman was beautiful. Phoebe had to admit that. She wasn't Mulder's type, he preferred brunettes, at least, he had in the past. But something in their interacting told her they were more than work partners, there was an intimacy between them only lovers had, and never had she seen Fox this unguarded and relaxed around anyone before. This time agent Scully wouldn't be as easily ditched as the last time, perhaps the game would be more fun this time.

"Okay Phoebe, what bring you to Washington?" Mulder asked.

"Oh, it's rather delicate, I would say." Smiling directly at Mulder, she paused, "you will love this. A wing of the Holy Mary Rectory in London died last week, all doors and windows were locked from the inside, and no poison was found in their bodies."

"How do we come into the picture? London is a bit off our route?" Scully inquired.

"That's the exciting part, agent Scully. Usually, life in a Rectory is restricted to a schedule of rituals and study, good students follows the rules and nothing bad happens. But I guess a ritual or two went wrong this time." Phoebe laughed.

Taking a quick glaze at Mulder to measure his interest in the case, Scully tiredly covered her eyes behind her right hand, cases involving the Church easily caught her attention, but it seemed to drift with the English detective.

"They said their prayers backwards" She offered and was rewarded with a grin from Mulder.

"Interesting theory but no. Or perhaps you could say yes, our young boys sought answers in other religions, all but two had participated in a sweatlodge a few days prior to their deaths. And it didn't stop there; they would've tried another if they had lived."

"Sweatlodge, Native American. What would good catholic boys be doing there?" Phoebe had caught Mulder's attention.

"I'm asking the same question." Phoebe caught his eyes; he held her glance briefly, before he turned it to Scully. "Maybe God isn't a sharing man"

Scully didn't take the bait, their takes at God and the Church never matched, "Mulder, maybe these boys were just trying to keep an open mind, studying the difference between different religions."

"Or the similarities." He got up from the desk, "but that doesn't explain why you're here Phoebe?"

"The runner of the sweatlodge was American; we've trailed him to South Dakota."

"South Dakota, isn't it the home of the Lakota Indians, Scully?" Glazing at Scully he went to the drawer to look for a case file, not really expecting an answer from her.

"Yes it is" She was interrupted by her cell phone, reaching into her pocket her attention already drifted from him, she pushed the green bottom, "Scully."

Listening for a few seconds before she said, "I'll be right down, thank you"

Getting up from the chair, she placed the cell phone back in her pocket, "If you'll excuse me." Meeting his curious eyes, she smiled.

"Where you're going?" he asked with a case file in his hand.

"To the lab, the test results are ready." None of them were smiling now, both wondering, if they would like the answers they were about to get.

"I'll come with you." Forgotten was the case file in his hand.

"No, I'll be fine. Just finish up here. It's okay, Mulder" Honestly, she wanted to do this alone, to have time to adjust, if the ground disappeared underneath her. Handling her own pain and his at the same time would be beyond her strength.

"Okay." He seemed unsure, "it will be okay." She reassured him.


	3. Chapter 3

Still, Scully, Mulder and the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, it they belonged to me; I would reopen the X-Files

Still, Scully, Mulder and the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, it they belonged to me; I would reopen the X-Files.

Thanks for the reviews )

Thanks for pointing out that I make a lot of errors, unfortunately, English is not my first language, Danish is. Most likely, there will be errors in this chapter as well; if I can I'll fix them. Feel free to point them out.

This story is written for my entertainment, but if anyone likes it, I will post more chapters.

Chapter Three

Don't Give Up

Closing the door behind her, she leaned heavily on the doorframe for a long moment, taking a fast breath and letting it out though her nose, shortly after. Closing her eyes she breathed deeply a few times. Recollecting, she started towards the elevator, her feet unsteady under her, making it hard to walk at a normal pace. The distance between her office and the elevator had grown since her lunch break; it felt like, it would take her forever to close the distance.

Finally, inside the elevator, she pushed the key that would let the elevator take her to the lab floor, fortunately she was alone. It crossed her mind; that even the lab was at a higher level than their office; the X-File office would never win a popularity contest in the Bureau. A memory of another time in this elevator came into her mind; she had been standing here, when Mulder revealed he already knew, she couldn't conceive and that he knew, because he had her stolen ova.

She had felt betrayed and violated, both by Mulder and men performing the tests on her. She had fought to catch her breath on her way up with the elevator, scared of the possibility of a childless future, and scared that Mulder, one day, would want what she couldn't give him. She had fought her fright that day, stayed in the fight. Today, she was, if possibly, more frightened than ever, now, she knew what she had to loose, not just a vague thought of it.

Slowly, the elevator doors reopened, impatiently, she steeped out only to find her legs, again, turning into jelly. Fighting back the tears forming in her eyes and blocking out any thoughts, she steered her legs into the direction of the lab, she could do this!

"Agent Scully?" A younger man called.

"Yes" She offered her hand.

"I'm agent Hansen" His smile exposed his blinding white teeth; he was not the arc type of someone, she would expect to find in the FBI labs. Her analytic mind scanned him fast, hair was blond and thick, eyes were clear blue, his chest broad and he appeared to be in excellent physic shape. He was way too handsome to work in the FBI lab, she managed to think, before she remembered her manners.

"Nice to meet you, you have some results for me, you said on the phone."

Meeting his eyes again, she saw she hadn't been the only one to evaluate the person before her, approval was reflected in his smile and stare. She guessed agent Hansen was a few years older than she was. He hadn't been working here six years ago, she would've noticed.

"Yes, I've run the tests you asked me. I don't know what you wanted me to look for. "Awaiting her explanation, he paused, when she offered none, he continued, "the DNA test matches yours and agent Mulder's, there's a 99.9 percent chance you're the parents of this boy, pretty sure I'll say." He smiled broadly, unsure of why, she doubted the parenthood of her own child.

Covering her eyes with her hand, Scully took a private moment, relief washed over her and relaxed her muscles and made breathing easier. Removing her hand, she looked up at agent Hansen, "thank you" her radiant smile took his breath away.

"And the other tests?" She dared asking.

"They are fine, no evidence of cancer, blood defects or other abnormalities. He seems to be a healthy boy. I've kept some blood for you as you requested, you'll be running more tests?"

She understood his puzzlement, "yes, just a few. A mother's concern you can call it." She smiled apologizing; she had only asked him to do the simple tests. Knowing, she would get the results faster this way, she had handed in the blood samples a few days ago. The last tests searching for the alien DNA and mutations of William's blood would she only entrust upon herself.

"I haven't seen you before?" agent Hansen asked with real interest in his eyes.

"No, no I've been away for some years. I used to work here six years ago. It's my first day back." The charming light in his eyes made her more open to conversation than usually.

"Which department are you assigned to?" Reaching into his pocket, he found a bag of candy, "care for a piece of Danish liquorice, it's salty."

Looking down in the bag, she chose a piece shaped as a sea shelter, "thank you. I work with the X-Files" she smiled.

"Huh, never heard of it." He shrugged.

"Yeah, it's been shut down for the past six years. " For no reason, she was still standing in the lab, enjoying their small conversation.

"Well, I would've though you were medical trained, since you said, you would be running some test on your own?"

"I'm a medical doctor, I…"

"Scully?" she was interrupted by the approach of Mulder, "I got worried." Seeing her, he relaxed visibly.

"Everything okay?" He asked

"Everything is fine, Mulder. I was just talking to agent Hansen, who has run the tests, I asked for." She waved her hand in the direction of agent Hansen.

Turning, Mulder offered his hand to the agent, noticing the disappointed glimmer in the agent's eyes, he smirked, "Fox Mulder, nice to meet you, agent Hansen."

Agent Hansen shook Mulder's hand lightly, "you're also new here?" two pair of eyes studied each other, thoroughly.

"I'm with agent Scully… working at the X-Files. It's our first day." Mulder saw the questions in agent Hansen's face, but chose to ignore them.

"Good news, huh, Scully?" turning to his partner, Mulder placed a hand on the lower part of her back, leading her to the door.

Stopping in the hall outside the lab, she leaned softly into his body, placing a gentle, small kiss on his lips, remembering the Federal rules, she broke the kiss quickly. "The best of news, William is our son and he's fine. I still have to run a few more tests, but he's fine."

In relief, he hugged her tightly just as the door behind them re-opened and a surprised agent Hansen stood before them. Never breaking his eye contact with agent Hansen, Mulder released Scully and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Unaware of the presence of another agent, Scully stepped a few steps back and walked directly into agent Hansen, swiftly, turning her head in the direction of whom she had bumped into, she blushed lightly "Pardon me, agent Hansen."

"No problem" the agent smiled down at her.

Tilting her head, she frown at Mulder, before she headed down the hall, when he caught up with her she said, "thanks for the warning, Mulder."

"Well, he didn't seem to mind you invading his personal space."

"Huh, does Phoebe have a theory about the deaths?" Ignoring his pouting, she stared straight ahead.

"No, she doesn't, but I think we need to go to South Dakota later this week. Phoebe is calling the field office there to bring Two Feathers in."

"Two Feathers?" She asked.

"Also known as Jim Casey, the man who ran the sweat lodge in England. For some reason, they would have attended another one, the day after their deaths, run by someone else, Flying Eagle."


	4. Chapter 4

Chris Carter is the happy owner of the X-Files, Scully and Mulder.

Thanks for reviewing.

This story has a mind of its own, normally I dwell into the emotional and 'darker' side of relationships, but this it a light story. In this universe, it's normal for a small boy just to accept being placed in a new environment. I'm wondering about my own stat of mind, lol.

I re-watched Fight The Future yesterday and was reminded of how caring Mulder can be to Scully and how much she means to him. Often, in the series, I find him self-centred and demanding, but he proved me wrong.

Enjoy, if not blame the writer!

Chapter four

Don't Give Up

Phoebe was waiting for them in the basement, "oh, you found agent Scully!"

Somehow, Scully didn't feel flattered at all but ignored the woman, lacking the desire to display her feelings in public. Besides that, she didn't feel threatened by her.

"It seems like our trip to South Dakota has been cancelled. Our man has eloped!"

"Where to?" Mulder asked, by taking Scully's chair he left her standing, pointing to the spot on her desk, he recently had occupied, he grinned.

"Alberta."

"Canada, you mean Canada? Then it's a case for the Canadian authorities." Scully said, she hadn't taken Mulder's offer yet, preferring to feel the ground underneath her feet.

"Two Feathers are an American citizen, it's still our case, we have every right to investigate him in Canada." He wanted this case.

"Mulder, we have nothing to do on a Canadian Blackfeet Reservation it's out of our jurisdiction" She tried.

"We've seven possible murders; I say we've something to do there, Scully. How soon can we go?"

This was the moment, she had dreaded, a case needing them to go out of town, since William's return, she had barely left him out of her sight and definitely not at nights. Her mother had begged to have her grandson sleeping over. Until now, she had ignored her mother's begging, not ready to trust William to be safe out of her sight. This was another reason, why she had not wanted to go back to the FBI, she wanted the normal family life, with the family members coming come every night. But they weren't a normal family, never was.

"Not today. It's the first day, Mulder." She blurred.

"I know, tomorrow will be fine." He saw through her and her doubts, "It will be okay, you know, it wouldn't be any different if you still worked at the hospital, you had extremely long hours there."

"Yeah," She didn't sound convinced. Truthfully, the darkness had also been at the hospital, she had just denied it.

"Dinner?" Phoebe broke in, her focus on Mulder.

Looking at her watch Sully answered; "I've somewhere I need to be!" Without looking at them, she went to take her coat from the hall stand,

"Wait, I'm coming with you, Scully." Jumping to his feet he followed her, "will you return to England Phoebe?"

"No, I might come to Canada, if you stay there for more than a few days, otherwise I'll see you here again"

"She not coming with us, I thought it was her case?" listening to the noises coming from the elevator, Scully pushed the button for opening the door.

"Nah, she has something to do, something involving the case here in Washington. Will you miss her terrible?" he joked

"I can manage." She jested back.

Stepping out of the elevator, they turned left before they came to the security check, stepping into the awaiting elevator, they went one floor down. Together with a few other agents, they got off and followed behind agents, they never had seen before, most of them were women.

They all stopped at a door leading to a large area with several doors and a couple of resting areas. The walls were coloured in cheerful bright colours, the furniture varied in sizes and shapes, and toys and different games were everywhere.

It looked invitingly cosy, tempted by its luring simplicity Scully had lingered unattainable long this morning, before Mulder had pointed out that all the other parents had left ages ago together with William.

Experiencing the same calm, she felt her mind slowing down, there was no need to rush, her family was around her and she wanted to enjoy the sentiment of it. So often, she had heard parents complaining of the time between picking up and dinnertime as a nightmare of stress. It was not something she would duplicate, instead, she indented to benefit from what she had been denied for so long, time with her child.

"Don't get too comfortable." Mulder whispered playfully into her ear, "they are closing in a few hours."

"In a matter of fact they are not, they have a section open around the clock for agents working crazy hours, it a part of the new face of FBI."

"Nice, we might take advances of their generosity. Do they take agents?"

"Only certain agents, I'm sure I can arrange something for you, Mulder."

Laughing, he lightly touched her arm. "Hi William" He called to his son, who came running from one of the classroom sharply followed by a small girl.

"Hi dad, hi mommy" the small boy slowed down until he finally stopped in front of his parents.

"Bending down Scully hugged her son, "did you've a good day, sweetie?"

"Sure, we had ice cream!" He hugged her back.

Smiling, she placed a soft kiss on his nose. "It's wasn't too long a day? Why the ice cream?"

"It's Maybelle's birthday, she got a Barbie schoolbag and a Barbie movie and we played hide and seek. " Stumbling over the words he seemed excited, still.

"Sounds like you had a good day, William, Are you ready to go home?"

"Yeah dad, can I watch Cars?"

"You can watch part of the movie while mommy cooks dinner, William."

"And what will you be doing, Mulder?" Helping William into his jacket, she glazed briefly at him, "making sure our son knows how to start the movie and keep it running?"

"It's still new to him" suddenly busy with his shoes, he defended himself.

"Oh, I thought you two had watched the movie twenty times, already, my mistake"

"We've mommy, and dad says all the lines all the times." Innocently, his son ruined his excuse for watching the movie, choosing to ignore they had him cornered, he ignore the statement. "Ready to go, Scully, or are you planning to stay and socialize with the staff? I did interrupt your time here this morning." Staring blankly at her, he didn't move.

Lifting her eyebrow she shot him a stern glare, "very funny, Mulder"

With William walking between then, holding both his parents hands, they left the Hoover building, a few steps away from the entrance, they practically ran into Phoebe, who stopped death in her tracks by the sight.

Gathering, Phoebe turned on her seductively smile, focusing on Mulder, she blurred, "Fox, what a surprise! I never hoped to cross paths so soon, it must be faith."

"Mommy, I can spell cat" William ignored the woman talking to his dad, sure he wouldn't like her at all.

Both Scully and Mulder looked downed at their son, both amazed with this wonder. "Please, spell it to me, sweetheart" encouragingly, Scully squeezed his small hand.

"C-A-T" William proudly spelled aloud.

With a heart bursting with pride, Scully smiled at her son, "very good William" lifting her face, she met Mulder's eyes shining with pride. It was a touching moment, their son spelling words to them for the first time. She felt honoured and glad they shared this moment together. Never had she expected or hoped William would adapt this fast and good to his new life, it seemed unnatural.

"You're as clever as you mother" Mulder proudly stated.

"Always the gentleman, Fox" Without success she tried to catch his eyes, giving up she ran her eyes up and down Scully, wondering what is was about this woman, that appealed so strong to Fox, that he would help her with her offspring. "When the kid's channel closes down for the day, you can call me for some adult time."

"I'm playing with somebody else in my adult time, Phoebe, if you will excuse us."

Before Phoebe could reply William demanded his parent's attention, "I can also spell dog and cow. D-O-G, C-O-W"

Within seconds, all thoughts of Phoebe had left the minds of the Scully-Mulder family, too occupied with spelling performances and proud appraises. Finally, having a taste of the normal life Scully always had longed for, she wasn't about to waste it on a English woman, who had a way too wide mouth, bearing great resemblance to the mouth of a frog.


	5. Chapter 5

The X-Files, Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter

The X-Files, Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter.

Thanks for reading and reviewing…please, feel free to tell me your thoughts, good or bad…

Chapter Five

Don't Give Up

The Scully-Mulder residence

16.33 P.M

Safely home, they decided to change their plans, instead of father and son watching the movie while Scully cooked dinner, they decided to wait with the movie, until they all three could watch it together.

When Scully started their dinner, Mulder and William found a book together they could read around the large table in the kitchen, it was a story about which animals you can have on a farm. Often, Mulder was interrupted by William's voice, insisting to spell the animal's name, each time the story included a dog, a cat or a cow.

Dinner was spent in the same good spirit. The day had been really good to William and, now, he looked forward going to school the next day.

Much to Scully's surprise, William was excited about spending a few days alone with his grandma, she knew they were bonding, but she had expected, that he would be anxious about their leaving. Afraid it would remind him of other leavings, but he never failed to surprise her.

Margaret Scully was his only grandma, both of Mulder's parents had passed away, and none of the Van De Kamp's parents were alive. William was very curious about his newly found grandma; it hadn't taken him many minutes to discover, she was very generous and caring. He was sure they would have a good time together.

Clearing the table, taking the leftovers away and storing the dishes in the dishwasher, Mulder listened to the faint sounds of Scully and William in the bathroom, it sounded like they had a lot of fun preparing William for bed.

Carrying her son and his blanket into the living room, Scully slightly turned her head towards the kitchen to see what Mulder was up to; he was placing the cups on the tray, he was preparing for them. It still amazed her to see him doing domestic tasks at their home, remembering how, he always ignored anything but the mostly needed cleaning in his old apartment. When it came to home-cooked meals, they always ended up in her apartment.

Gently, setting William down on the couch, she sat next to him, "I will find the movie, mommy" he volunteered.

"Go ahead, sweetie" she smiled, sensing someone walking into the room; she directed her smile to Mulder, "ready for a movie?"

"Sure, I even got the milk for you," he smirked at her.

"That's very sweet of you, Mr. Mulder."

"Never a bother, Ms. Scully. So you don't want tea? I can get more milk."

"Don't go!" She patted the couch next to her, "I'll settle with tea so our young man here can have his milk." She giggled back at him.

He sat next to her and opened his arms so she could mould into his body, using his chest as back supporting. William crawled onto the couch and followed his mother's example, using her as back support. Watching the movie was soothing, on one side of her, Mulder rehearsed all the lines and on the others side, William, repeatedly, spelled mom and dad, the words she had taught him in the bathroom. Now and then, he varied them with cat, dog and cow. In other situations it would've driven her crazy; now, it was just the sounds of her family and their eccentricities, which she loved.

Half way though the movie the spelling stopped and William rested heavily against her. Enjoying the comfort of his warm body resting against her, she waited a few minutes before lifting her head towards Mulder.

"He's asleep?" He picked up her movement instantly, constantly tuned into his surroundings.

"Yeah, mind to carry him to bed?" Sandwiched between them, she hadn't many chances of moving.

"I will get him."

Trying to shrug off the cold that indulged her, when they left her alone on the couch, she got up. It was time to pack a few bags; fortunately, her mother would be staying in the apartment with William. But she had her own bag to pack with formal outfit.

Absentmindedly, she packed a few long cotton skirts, she normally never wore and didn't expect to in Canada, but her instinct told her to bring them. Before long Mulder entered the bedroom and started packing as well, "guess it was a hard day, he's knocked out."

"Well, he did do a lot of spelling, heck I probably will be spelling cat, dog and cow in my sleep tonight. You may want to sleep on the couch!" She glazed seriously at him.

"I'll take my chances; I can always wake you, Scully"

Seeing her lifting her eyes in question, he laughed, "I may take advance of you agent Scully, be aware."

"Oh, I hope you do!"

Stepping closer, she slowly moistened her lips with her tongue; she had his full attention, now. His eyes locking on her inviting lips, he stepped closer. She welcomed his kiss and feeling the soft brushing of his tongue on her upper lip; she willingly parted her lips, allowing him full access to his mouth.

Feeling the familiar sensations running down her spine, she moaned deeply, her hands found their way to the back of his head and pulling him closer, she deepened the kiss. Leaning closer into her body, he, hoarsely, groaned into the warmth of her mouth, his arousal rising against her, hard.

Desire running wild through her body, instinct and love took over.

Their desires never seemed to slow down, never seemed to fade in intensity, it burned hot with every touch and every kiss.

If anything, it had grown through the years. The flame, lit by the first shy, awkward kiss, was fuelled by the intimacy of knowing every curve of the other's body, by knowing they entrusted each other with their lives and by opening their hearts fully. Sometimes desperation was in their lovemaking, but more frequently, it was full of life-proving and bliss.

Much later, she rested peacefully against his chest, both had been to the bathroom and to William's room to check on the boy and give him a soft kiss. They cherishing each moment, they had with their son. Moments they had been denied for so long.

"Do you think he will be okay, Mulder. Truly?" Her voice trembled against his chest.

"William? Yeah, he will be fine. He's an amazing boy, Scully. You're not a bad mother because you go away for a few days, you know that."

Pulling her neck back, she faced him, doubt clearly written all over her face. It was easy to see she was troubled, "perhaps I should return to Quantico!"

"Don't do this to yourself, Scully" He scoped her into his arms, "you can't live you life in fear, if you do; you will pass that fear on to William. Giving him a fear of living, it wouldn't be fair to him. And, it wouldn't be fair to you, either. Life will battle with him once in a while, like it battles us."

"But he is more exposed than other children. We've been running for so many years. Mulder and I can't stop thinking about Gibson, or stop thinking, that William will be taken away from us again. We don't know what those people will do to him. I though we had a choice of keep running or stop running, but maybe we don't." She was on the border of tears.

"What do you mean?" He was confused, nothing arresting had happened today, at least, nothing he knew of.

"Did we make the right choice moving here? What if we ran directly into the monster's mouth by coming here? What if we can't hide anywhere?"

Running a hand through her long, silky hair, he thought about her question, he had his own doubts, frequently wondering, if he could protect them his time, if ever needed. "I think we did, we're not meant to hide in fear, not meant to give up on who we are. Looking for the truth is who I am, Scully!"

Tensing, she sighed deeply, "is it all you are?" Her question held a deeper meaning, he had told her the same thing, not so long ago, when she refused to follow him on his quest into the darkness. That stubbornness of his wasn't new to her, it had always been a greater part of him; a part, she loved and feared. It had taken him away from her and endangered his life, repeatedly.

Now, it was his time to sigh, "Of course not, is that what you think?"

Hesitating, she searched for an answer within herself; did she doubt his feelings for William and her? Or was she just tired of fighting with his quest and dead sister? "Well, Mulder, I guess, I don't"

"You guess you don't, come on Scully. You and William come first, I promised you that when we agreed to do this. Don't you believe me?"

"Sure, maybe I'm just tired and worried. I hate to leave him, Mulder. And I don't like to have the darkness at my doorstep." Fatigue was blurring her voice.

"Maybe it's part of our destinies to fight the darkness, always to run. Remember my regression? Maybe we chose this before we were born. Maybe we chose to be together to fight this evil, knowing we couldn't do it alone or with someone else. Maybe there is a greater plan with our lives; it says a lot, Scully. It says a lot. Maybe this is your way of passing on your faith to our son, teaching him to fight for what he believes in."

Hearing her breathing becoming deeper, he paused, when she didn't stir or say anything, he whispered. "Goodnight, Scully." He brushed her hair with his warm lips.

"Night, Mulder" she returned, half asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Repeating myself; The X-Files, Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter, I've no claim on them whatsoever.

Thanks so much for reviewing – big hugs from me.

Please, share your thoughts about the story with me

Enjoy, if not – blame the writer =)

Chapter six

Don't Give Up

Calgary, Canada

April, 21st 2008

"What do you know about the Blackfeet Indians, Scully?" Turning his head, he took his eyes of the road and glared at her instead.

It had been a peaceful and eventless morning, William anxious of getting in school on time, had paid little attention to their leaving. Scully had wanted to reassure her son that everything would be ok, instead it had been the other way around; William had looked her deeply in the eyes and told her he still would be there, when they came home. It had been a taste of his 'sense' which Molly had talked about. It hadn't scared Sully just sadden and worried her. There had been power behind her son's words, he believed them and strangely, she did too, at least for now. Now sitting in the rental car she focused on the man next to her.

"The Blackfeet Nation has never been at war with the Government, the army never dared to attack due to the savage reputation of the Blackfeet warriors. Therefore the tribe has some of their original land today. Addiction and abuse are servere problems for the Indians, most are poor but it's not the poorest tribe. A lot of teenage girls become pregnant before they reach the age of 18."

Reaching for the file on the backseat she gave him a quick glaze, "why?"

This time, keeping his eyes on the road, he answered. "It doesn't say why two Indian men left their Reserve to go to Europe"

"I'm sure you've a theory!" Opening the file, she looked at the photographs of the

seven young, deceased men, none had reached the age of 23.

"I think its religious murders. Think about it, seven young men, who had devoted themselves to their faith, died after participating in a ritual that the church considers heathen. Did they piss off someone within the church or someone outside? Was it someone who didn't think they were welcome in the sweat lodge? I have little doubt they died from religious grounds."

"How did they die, Mulder? The doors and windows were locked from inside. Maybe we should look at the possibility of mass suicide or an accident. There are numerous examples of cults choosing mass suicide, we've seen it before. I admit, it's change they did it in a rectory, but mass suicide in religious places are not unusual."

"You could be right, Scully, maybe it was a mass suicide but then it's still on religious grounds. And it doesn't answer my question of what two Indians men were doing in England"

"No it doesn't, but you know people do travel. People actually travel outside America; we are the only ones, who always run around the states, but never anywhere else." Sighing, she focused on the file again.

"Where would you like to travel, Scully?" He sounded surprised.

Breathing deeply, she hesitated, someday she wanted to slow down and forget all about conspiracy plans and aliens and just live a normal life, "well, I err, it would be nice to see London again. I've always liked the city"

"You do? When were you in London, Scully?"

"Years ago, before I met you." Feeling his hot glare on her, she continued, "Ethan and I spent two weeks in London a few months before I was assigned to the X-Files."

"I see"

Taken aback, she studied his profile; "see what, Mulder?"

"Your relationship was more serious than I thought."

"We were together for two years, the same as you and Diana were."

"Two years is a long time, Scully!"

"Yeah, well, then our relationship is ancient" She couldn't keep the sarcasm out of her voice. He wasn't making any sense, two years was nothing to the years they had spent together. For God sake; they had a seven year old son!

He didn't reply, following his example, she returned to the files case.

After a while he found his voice again, "do we know anything about the Blackfeet which cannot be found in simple statistics?"

"No not really. Albert Hosteen taught me a few things about their religion, but he wasn't Blackfoot, and he didn't call it their religion but their spirituality. He often spoke of the grandfathers, I never really thought about it.

"It doesn't help us much but my hunch is we are dealing with religious grounds here, Scully."

The Blood Reserve

April, 21st 2008

For a few hours they followed the Crowsnest Highway, Finally, the sign 'Coalhurst' came into sight, this very small town was located just 9 miles west of Lethbridge. Their map told them to turn right just before reaching Coalhurst, which Mulder did, it made Scully sighed deeply; they just missed their change of buying some cold drinks at the gas station located just after the town sign. It shouldn't surprise her that Mulder didn't even think about refreshments, when he was on to something he would forgo simple needs.

"Scully, something's wrong?"

"It would've been nice with something to drink, we don't know when we get the opportunity again."

Smiling he turned his head to her, "you could've told me, you know." He knew she got a little tense when she was hungry or thirsty.

Grabbing his hand in hers, she smiled back, "I know. "

Passing the sign 'Blood Reserve' they saw miles of flat land on each side of the road. On their right side they spotted a native gas station. Without hesitation Mulder turned right and slowly drove over the steel bars in the ground, they kept cattle and deer out of the gas station. It was a small and simple gas station, the shop was a wooden house and there was only one gas tank, which was placed above the ground.

A few locals were giving them the cold stare; it was obvious they weren't welcome. They were now on Indian land and were considered the wrong colour. Scully felt the hostility and distrust directed at them, the only two white people.

They were getting a taste of how it was to be a Native in a 'white' world, shivering slightly, Scully found confidence in her badge and weapon.

Mulder looked around, taking in their surroundings, it was depressing; the faces he briefly passed were lacking hope and directions in life, and the gas station was decaying.

She followed him into the shop, just inside large bottles of water were stored, they were covered in a thick layer of dust and some of them were leaking, she guessed there wasn't a big market for bottled water. Walking further into the shop, shelters with candy bars and chips came into view. Scanning the place, she found nothing but sucker filled products, nothing healthy seemed to find its way into this shop. On the right side of the shop a couple of refrigerators decorated the wall; it was freshly stored drinks, relieved she chose a coca cola and a bottle of still water. On her way to the counter, she decided for a peanuts bar and a Snickers bar.

The man behind the counter looked dully at her, making no attempt of serving her. She might as well have been thin air from the look he gave her. Exhaling, she cleared her voice, it had no effect. Mulder approached the counter and stood next to her, still there was no reaction from the man; they were being politely ignored. Clearing his voice, Mulder asked, "can to give us the directions to Standoff?"

When the man didn't make any attempt of replying the simple answer, Mulder reached into his pocket and found his badge. Flipping it open he waved it in front the man. "Agents Mulder and Scully! The way to Standoff and the bill, please."

Breaking his numbness, the man acknowledged their presences, reluctantly he offered, "follow the road and turn left. 8 dollars for it all."

Searching his pocket Mulder came up with a five dollar bill, "do you have any change, Scully?"

Finding some loose coins in her pocket she threw them on the counter, she felt no need to find her purse in here. "Thank you" she said before turning away, the mute man returned to ignoring them.

Buckling up, she gave the gas station a final look, "guess we're not welcome on the prairie."

"And we didn't even bring our cowboy boots and hats!"

Continuing on the main road they saw nothing but more flat land only broken by the many small oil wells spread across the land. Indeed, this was prairie land.

After a good drive, they came to Standoff, turning left they followed the road to a round building, it was beautiful decorated with Native patterns. It was clearly a newer building with a longer building added to it and a sign saying 'Kainai Tribe Reserve" It was obviously a centre for children and elder people.

Stepping out of the car, Scully stretched her body, it had been a long drive, close to five hours and she was hungry, the sucker products hadn't provided much help to that fact. Those car rides had been her life once, now, after a six years break, her body had forgotten the harshness of always running and infrequently meals. Only her sleeping habits hadn't changed over the years, often neither of them could sleep much. And well, honestly, she often had forgotten to eat at the hospital too.

"Let's see if we can find somebody who knows Two Feathers or Flying Eagle" Mulder had come up next to her, smiling she nodded.

Mulder chose the door to the centre of elderly, the door was open and muffled voices came from the inside. The corridor leaded to a large room with people sitting around a few round tables, all were staring down in front of them. In the top of the room a man called numbers out, they were playing bingo. In between the numbers were called lively talks could be heard.

When Mulder knocked on the open door all talking stopped and at least twenty pair of heads turned in their directions, a few friendly but most expressed sceptical and unwelcoming.

"Agents Scully and Mulder, we are with the FBI. May we come in?" Showing her badge, she raised her eyebrow in question.

"You can come in. Why are you here?"

Stepping into the room Scully directed her focus to the man who spoke, she assumed he was around 50 years, his hair was whitening, giving him a salt and pepper look. He wore a cowboy shirt and old jeans. His overweight was centred on his stomach. By his tone of voice, she could tell he was used to being heard when he spoke. But there wasn't anything demanding in his figure or tone of voice, more than anything he appeared… she couldn't find the word… humble was the closest she came.

"We would like to ask you about two men, Two Feathers and Flying Eagle. Do you know them?" She approached the table the elderly man sat at. Mulder followed behind her.

"You mean Jim Casey and Joe Taylor, sure I know them"

"And who would you be, Mr?" Mulder asked.

"I'm Joe Taylor, just call me Joe."

"Could we speak to you, Mr. Taylor?" Scully inquired.

"If you will let me finish this round I will speak to you."

Giving Scully a quick amusing glaze Mulder replied. "We will wait in the car, Mr. Taylor."

Outside in the spring sun Scully shrugged her shoulders, it was still chilly in the weather and there was some left over snow refusing to melt, making everything a bit muddy and depressing. Stretching her body again, she felt the soreness of her lower back; she was used to standing on her two feet for hours not sitting.

Slowly, she walked in the direction of the playground; it was partly visually through the fence that surrounded part of the centre, immediately her thoughts turned to William. Smiling softly, she found her cell phone and dialled their home number, after a few rings her mother answered. In the background she could hear the distant sounds of William's favourite movie Cars, whishing she could be with him right now, she relaxed, when her mother assured her, he was okay and didn't cry for them. He had accepted they would be away for a few days. Understanding her daughter, her mother called William to the phone. Scully was relieved, when she heard his small, happy voice telling her he was okay, in the same breath he asked if he please could watch his movie. Laughing, she told him that she would call him before his bedtime.

"Is he okay"

"Very fine, his movie is more interesting than his mother" She looked up at him.

Pushing a stray of hair away from her eyes he smiled down at her, "don't tell me, Cars?"

Enjoying his closeness she just nodded her head.

"Ah, it's hard to compete with a movie about cars, don't take it personally."

Giggling, she rolled her eyes, "thank you, I won't next time you watch it."

"Hey, this wasn't about me!"

"Mr. Mulder and Ms. Scully, I'm ready now. I will take you to my house." Without waiting for their reply, Joe Taylor crawled into his truck and turned the engine on. After a final glance at each other they headed for their car, within seconds they drove down the same road they had come from. Joe Taylor turned right at the main road, they were going back. After half an hour Joe Taylor blinked to the left, leaving the main road, they followed a dusty gravel road, which seemed to lead nowhere.

"Out here you can see who will visit you days before they show up at your doorstep." Mulder looked at Scully.

"Nothing is so bad that's it isn't good for something, I guess." Never taking her eyes of the road she first spotted the house in front of them, it was a prefabricated house of an older date, but it was well taken care of. It was painted light sky blue, on a field behind the house two horses were grassing.

To her right she saw something covered with blankets, not giving it much thoughts, she focused on Mulder, "guess the road stops here."

"Maybe they ran out of gravel. " He smirked

"It's beautiful and peaceful out here," she admitted.


	7. Chapter 7

The X-Files, Scully and Mulder still belong to Chris Carter, his brilliant brain discovered them.

Thanks for reading and reviewing – it makes my day ;-)

I'm having my doubts about this story and the value of it, but it won't leave me alone so I'm posting another chapter.

Chapter seven

Don't Give Up

Standoff, The Blood Reserve.

April, 21st 2008

4.47 P.M

Joe Taylor waited for them beside his car, but as soon as they were out of their car he walked to his front door. It was unlocked, opening the door he stepped inside. A little round woman came to greet him; she looked a few years younger, her eyes friendly and her long hair beautiful braided. She was wearing a colourful long sleeved dress.

The couple mumbled a few words to each other before Joe Taylor turned to Scully and Mulder.

"This is my wife Tammy. Step inside and close the door"

Mulder closed the door behind them, Tammy disappeared before they could greet her, and silently they followed the elder man into his living room. He chose a chair and pointed for them to sit at the couch.

"So what brings you here _agents _Mulder and Scully?"

She found it odd, that he hadn't asked that question or showed any sign of curiosity before. "We are here to ask you about your trip to England last week. Why were you there?"

Calmly he answered, "I was invited to run some sweats. It was my third visit."

"Who invited you, Mr. Taylor?" It was impossible for her to catch his eyes and judge his honesty from the look in them.

"Dave and Gilly Smith, they have visited us a lot here and thought people in England would benefit from the sweats." He answered.

"Sweats, do you mean a sweat lodge, Mr. Taylor?" Mulder broke in.

"Just call me Joe" Joe had obviously no problem with making eye contact with Mulder, "yes, I mean a sweat lodge!"

"What exactly is a sweat lodge, Mr. Taylor? A sort of religious ritual?" Mulder inquired.

"The first people doesn't have a religion, we call it spirituality. We do have faith, like your wife, but we follow no church. Our traditions are as old as the people. The sweat is a ceremony where we pray, cleanse ourselves and ask for healing. We've all consist of four parts and all four parts need to be in balance to make a person whole. Today, a lot of people are out of balance and need guidance; white people seek answers and find them in the old ways, especially people from Europe. They've forgotten their old ways and find their way in learning about the First people. They come to see their old traditions bear similarities to the First People's."

Scully studied the Native man; he had a power around him that didn't come from overpowering people, but from faith in his believes. She had only found the same calm in a few elderly Priests but they hadn't had the power behind the calm. "What happens in a Blackfeet sweat lodge?"

"Blackfoot! Here in Canada we are Blackfoot Indians. The sweat lodge was given to False Morningstar by the sun, among other gifts, it's a very strong ceremony in which, the grandfathers help us to find our ways and take responsibility."

Not any wiser she sighed; it appeared to be difficult to get a straight answer from Joe Taylor. And it was puzzling why he refused to meet her eyes, frustrated she breathed heavily.

"Why would five Catholic boys go to a sweat lodge, Mr. Taylor? They made arrangements to go to yours as well, didn't they?"

"Yes, they did. They had already been to one a week before, one Jim Casey ran."

Leaning forward Mulder said, "You know they're dead, don't you?"

"Yes, I heard when they didn't come." Still, Joe Taylor was calm.

"Why would they need another sweat lodge?"

Not answering right away, Joe Taylor looked at a point above their heads; he was lost in his own world. Glazing at each other, Scully and Mulder both sensed that he was holding something back from them. Scully was drawn to his calmness, it reminded her of the time she had visited the Temple of Buddha. It was the same clearness in the calm centre in herself she recognized in Joe Taylor. A clearness and calm she rarely found. Breathing deeply, she clear her mind of all thoughts and felt her body, I was sore and tired but healthy. Her heart felt lighter than it had in years, it was full of love. Love for her family. Family! It sounded so nice, and hope of a future given back to her. She was grateful.

Joe Taylor's voice brought her back to the room she was in, "sometimes you pick up something which is not good for you. It had happened to the young men in England."

"Something bad enough to kill them?" Scully inquired. The answer was delayed by Tammy Taylor coming into the room; she carried a large tray with cans of Canadian Dry and plates of food. Smiling into Scully eyes, Tammy Taylor handed her a plate. There were strength and kindness in the woman's eyes, she served the dinner but not with a servant's attitude. She did it because she wanted to.

The food was not familiar to Scully, she really wouldn't tell what it was; it looked like thick fried bread with salad, meat and cheese on it. Looking at Mulder she hesitated, unaccustomed to being offered anything but coffee and not knowing the food, she was inclined to forego the food, but a stern look from Joe Taylor told her it would be most impolite.

"It's Indian Tacos." Joe Taylor explained. When he saw her taking her first small bite, he spoke again, "do you know the story of my people, how we came to loose our future and our children?"

Quietly Tammy Taylor left the room again.

"No, no we do not know much about your tribe and its history, Mr. Taylor." Scully said between two bites, yet, she hadn't decided weather she liked the tacos or not.

"The white Government wanted to break the First People's spirit, it forbid us to speak our language, hold our ceremonies and live like we always had. The white men wanted us to become white. They forced us to live on small reservations. First, we refused and continued to speak our language and hold our ceremonies, when we stayed savage in their eyes; they took our children and sent them to Catholics boarding-schools. The children were beaten if they spoke their native tongues or spoke of their ways. The children were taken at such a young age, and not returned to their homes before they were about sixteen, that they forgot their roots. They forgot their language and started to believe in the Catholic religion.

The only thing they couldn't change was the colour of our skin.

When they came home, they couldn't speak with their parents or grandparents and they feared the old ways. The Catholic boarding- schools had taught them, they would go to hell, if they didn't forsake their people's savageness and heathen believes. It was confusing for them, for all. The white people considered them savage and underprivileged, and their own families were strangers to them. They were left with big holes in their hearts and they began to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes. They took all the bad habits from the white man and lost themselves in the search for their identities. It continued for many years, I was sent to a boarding- school. Luckily, some of our elders kept our ceremonies alive in secret, thanks to them a lot have survived but much was lost. Thanks to those Blackfoot men and women, who have worked hard and sacrificed a lot, we are gaining back what was lost, but some may be lost forever. And the holes in our people's hearts haven't healed, yet. "

"You've learned of the old ways Mr. Taylor?" It was Mulder asking the question.

"My grandparents wouldn't obey the white man, they stayed with the old ways. My granddad was stubborn and patient enough to take me in and teach me, and in the sweat lodge, I learned to take what was best from both my ancestors and the Catholic Church. Slowly, I returned to my roots and ancestors, peace filled the hole in my heart, and I began to work with my granddad in teaching our people about our traditions."

"Are you saying that some people in the Blackfoot society wants revenge of the Catholic Church?" The story was new to Scully, she had never known that Indian children

were taken from their parents and shipped off to Catholic schools. The mere thought horrified her; she knew the pain of loosing children at first hand. It was not something, she whished for others to ever go through.

Feeling Joe Taylor's eyes on her she managed to briefly meet his eyes, "you know the anger it leaves in your heart when loosing a child. Your pain hasn't healed yet, you carry it on to other fights in you life." There was no judging in his voice.

His understanding and compassion flowed through her, allowing her to acknowledge the anger underneath the sorrow and hurt, the realisation enabled her to see herself clearly. Before she understood everything fully, he withdrew his eyes.

"The anger in our parent's hearts hasn't healed yet, and it's passed on to the children. Before our hearts are healed, our story will repeat itself over and over again; today the Catholic Church is replaced by alcohol and drugs. But the Church is still strong on the reserve."

"Is Jim Casey angry at the Catholic Church Mr. Taylor" Mulder had finished his plate of Indian Tacos.

"Jim Casey's twin brother died at their Catholic boarding- school, officially of measles, unofficially of server beating after he was caught speaking Blackfoot with Jim. They were eight years old. Jim had to stay there until he was sixteen."

"Where can we find Jim Casey?"

Instead of answering her questing Joe Taylor said. "Agent Scully, I would like to invite you and your husband to a sweat lodge tomorrow at ten o'clock. Then we can talk further."

"We are not married!" Scully stated urgently.

Laughing he replied, "marriage has nothing to do with a piece of paper. I'll see you tomorrow then. Please wear a long skirt and long sleeves."

Completely stunned, she kept silent and glazing at Mulder, she met his amused eyes. He never corrected people when they called her his wife, but she always felt the need to correct the mistake, when it was the other way round.

"Do you know a motel, Mr. Taylor? Mulder changed his focus.

"You will have to drive to Lethbridge. It's not a long drive."

"Thank you for dinner and the invitation, we'll be here tomorrow." He got up; following his example Scully extended her hand to Joe Taylor's.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for reviewing. This chapter is a flashback, I hope it works- haven't wrote such a long flashback before.

Chapter eight

Don't Give Up

The Blood Reserve.

April, 21st 2008

19.14 P.M

Resting her head against the car seat, Scully considered Joe Taylor's words, did he mean, she didn't need a piece of paper to be married to Mulder because she already was, in a way? Would it change anything between them to actually be married? Probably not! They had acted like teenagers in the beginning of their relationship; for such a long time, they had fooled themselves into believing they were just friends. Smiling, she remembered the day when they no longer could kid around anymore; memories of the day were still fresh in her mind.

"I don't imagine you need to be told this, you're no looser, Mulder" She looked down at her feet as she walked beside him, still, ashamed of herself. How on earth, had it been possible for Eddie Van Blundth to fool her into believing, he was Mulder?

"I'm no Eddie Van Blundth either, am I?" He looked down too, both unwilling to meet the other's eyes.

It had been this way ever since that night. An odd awkwardness had sneaked in between them, retreating both of them into silence. The only words shared between them were unavoidable necessities, mostly work related. It stressed her, more than she was willing to admit to anyone, including herself. In the past they had managed to handle difficult situations between them rationally; by simply denying them and the existence of deeper layers in their feelings and partnership.

The veil they successfully had covered the truth with was, now, drifting in a violent wind, leaving corners fully exposed and refusing to conceal what was buried. It left her on unfamiliar ground, slowing her steps down and bore holes in her heart and thumping pain into her veins, making it hard to breath at times. Especially, when Mulder was close.

Until now, her life had been too busy to analyze the glimpses of longings and loss, believing she gained more this way, the chances of loosing minimized.

All that had come to an abrupt end that night, three weeks ago. The night she had allowed Eddie close enough to get under her skin, to the point where she willingly gave him access to her lips, if they hadn't been disturbed. The most alarming part was that she had believed Eddie to be Mulder, believed he wanted her. Easily taken by his charms, eager to believe, the downfall had been evil; the disturber was Mulder.

Mulder! For a long time Mulder looked her in the eyes, the disgust floating from his eyes to hers had torn her heart apart, until he finally broke their connection. After that their eyes never meet, always focusing on walls, doors, floors or accidentally on their faces.

At the same time the silence had found its way into their path, their vivid discussions of different opinions fading into polite simplicities. Their frequent phone calls stopped and when they called; they never said 'it's me' but their names. Every time he started that way her heart sank, not that she blamed him; she was no better.

"Scully?" Not daring to look up, he secretly watched her from the corner of his eyes.

His voice interrupted her line of thoughts, not knowing what to expect from him, she kept her voice low and even; "Yeah?" She bowed her head further down; she hated the awkwardness between them.

"Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" Briefly, daring to lift his head, he regretted it right away, when he saw her head fly up.

"Coffee? Sure, why not" She sounded doubtful, like she rather turn him down on his offer. Truth was, that she was confused, why, suddenly, this interest in her?

In silence she followed him to a nearby coffee bar, looking around, she noticed they would have more privacy than she hoped for, due to the earliness of the day, the place was almost empty of people. Breathing deeply out, she seated in the chair Mulder offered her. Another new thing between them, he was more considerate of her these days, though he hardly ever looked directly at her, only when he thought, she wasn't paying any attention to him.

Like now, she felt his intense stare on her; unable to meet it she studied her nails.

"What can I get you, Scully?" He broke the ice.

"Huh! Oh…A Latte thanks" Hotness came over her, when she stumbled over the words, for seconds all remembrance of coffee sorts had vanished from her mind, leaving her mute.

"Be right back" He left her alone with her blushing. How had things turned so wrong?

She jumped in the chair, when he placed the glass of coffee before her, "thanks."

Briefly, she met his eyes and saw the same alertness in them; she assumed was in her own.

"No bother, Scully" he smiled faintly.

Scully sipped her coffee, the uncomfortable air around them pulled at her heart and made her feel lost. Normally, they only managed to stay mad at each other for a couple of hours, but lately, more accurate within the last year, things had changed.

"Scully?"

Hearing the pleading in his voice she looked up, unguarded, she met his puppy eyes. "What is it, Mulder?" The sharpness of her voice unintended, remorsefully, she saw him winch at her tone of voice.

"Mulder, what is it?" she softly asked, gently touching his hand with her fingertips.

"What did he say to you that would allow him to kiss you?" this time he didn't look down.

"Who?" Buying time she faked ignorance.

"You know who, Scully"

She grew uncomfortable under his intense stare. "Erg, he asked why we never really talk… you know…" Again, she stumbled over the words. This was difficult; they had agreed to forget everything.

"Once we did really talk, Scully." He wouldn't drop the subject.

"Yes we did, Mulder. And we reached a decision, not that long ago, remember?" She kept her eyes locked with his.

"What if it was the wrong decision, Scully?"

The intenseness of his stare frightened her, she always found him hard to refuse, when he looked at her that way.

"Was it, Mulder? Or is this just that you won't let anyone have, what is not wanted by you." The edge was back in her voice.

"Not wanted! Is that what you think?" Disbelief was evident in this voice.

"No, no of course not!" she sighed, suddenly tired.

Focusing on her coffee, she pretended it wasn't a lie. They had made the decision together, but had he agreed because it had been an easy way out? Never had she been this unsure and insecure around a man. Mulder got under her skin like no-one else ever had.

This time it was Mulder sighing, "I hope you don't think this is about me not wanting you, it would be far from the truth. The truth I hope we both know."

With her head spinning, she chose to take a long sip of her coffee only to burn herself, biting back the tears forming in her eyes, she managed to mumbled; "which truth, Mulder?"

His intense stare was impossible to ignore, against her will she lifted her head slowly, to meet his warm eyes. They never lied and, now, they blinded her with a flame of honesty and vulnerability, she witnessed for the first time. It took her breath away.

"That I want you more than anything in this world, I've try to deny it but how do you think, it made me feel, when I saw him leaning in on you. One thing was that you were about to kiss another man… but that you couldn't tell he wasn't me." He stopped.

Absentmindedly, she took his hand in hers, "I'm sorry, Mulder. I hoped he was you. It hasn't been easy for me either, you know."

"It looked that way" he pouted.

"Did it? I thought you were playing with me, Mulder"

"Why would I do that, Scully?" His eyes clouded with confusion.

"I don't know, Mulder, maybe you moved on. Maybe I was a little distraction for a brief time, strange things happen. I had been abducted, you thought I was dead." She searched for explanations.

"I wasn't distracted, and what about after that, do you have an explanation for that, too?"

"We had just discovered I was sick." It sounded lame even in her ears, it had sounded more convincing in her mind.

"Oh, I'm taking advances of sick and vulnerable women. Thanks a lot!" He stared angrily at her.

"No! I didn't say that." She refused to let go of his hand when he tried to withdraw it. "I…I…I needed to find an explanation, I guess." Now, she eyes were swimming in tears and it was impossible to hide them.

"Scully, I can't stop thinking about you. I felt so betrayed, when I saw you with Eddie Van Blundth. You don't want the real me but you wanted him."

"Oh, Mulder! Don't think that, it wasn't because I don't want you. I wanted to believe you wanted me" She answered with a trembling voice, it was all too much. It was good they were almost alone in the coffee bar, this was harder than expected. They were both hurt. For so long she had thought, she was the only one bleeding.

"You did?"

"Yes, I did." She locked eyes with him; suddenly the world was getting all right again.

"Good. So your tattoo guy and Eddie Van Blundth don't mean anything to you."

"Of course not! I was trying to get my life back on track again. Thinking it would be without you as more than a work partner." Pausing, she hesitated; it was difficult to be painfully honest, to be exposed to hurt.

"Mulder, I was trying desperately to get over you, to convince myself I could shut off my feelings for you, that I could have a life without you. It never worked! I kept coming back to you, but only to learn there was no chance of getting into your heart. I acted from my pain not my heart. I don't ask you to understand"

Her heart was in her eyes, she couldn't lie anymore; it was too hard to fight her heart and feelings.

He reached for her other hand; gladly she gave it to him.

"Scully, I can't do this anymore. Can we go somewhere private and honestly talk, please?"

Closing her eyes briefly, she exhaled," sure, we're not far from my place." Unsure of the wise in being alone with Mulder, she narrowed her eyes and studied their entwined hands.

"Scully, please" he pleaded.

"Come" she quietly said. Withdrawing her hands she got up, without looking at him, she headed for the door. Her head spinning from trying to analyze the situation; was she more than a partner to him? Had he meant what they had shared for shorter periods of time or was he just acting on simple territorial instincts? Honestly, did she want to know his true feelings or was it better to stay in the denial? Perhaps she could discharge what she had just told him, dismiss it as a vague explanation, pointing out she had been affected from the bottle of wine she had drunk that night.

Flashback to be continued


	9. Chapter 9

This chapter is T-rated, there's a bit of smut in it, not much, if you don't like that – don't read it. It's still the flashback.

The flashback was originally written as a one-shot story which I decided not to publish. But I changed my mind when Don't Give Up refused to end like originally planned with one chapter.

Thanks for your reviews – I'm very happy for them.

Enjoy

Chapter nine

Don't Give Up

Before starting the engine, he gently brushed her cheek with the palm of his hand, "don't let you mind take you places you don't wanna go, Scully, slow down."

He knew her too well, there was no way of escaping; he wouldn't let her of the hook, it seemed. He wanted a new talk! Steeling herself, she looked up at him and offered a fake smile.

He followed closely behind her from the car and up to her front door. She felt his intense stare when she fumbled with the key. Within seconds it turned out to be impossible for her to steady her hand, and she felt hot sweat forms in her palms from embarrassment. Gently, he took the key from her and unlocked the door, pushing it open, he gestured with his spare hand for her to go inside. Mutely, he followed. She heard him closing the door while she dropped her coat on a chair.

Needing something to steady her nerves, she walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, knowing Mulder preferred beer over wine, she grabbed two bottles and turned to the dinning table in the kitchen. It would be safest with the large table between them. The sitting-room was out of the question, it would be too intimate crushing on the couch.

"Come in and sit down, Mulder!" she called. She handed him one of the beers when he came in. This time it was her waving her hand at him, communicating without words that she wanted him to sit down.

He obeyed willingly. For a minute, he watched her as she constantly sipped her beer and avoided eye contact.

"Scully, will you please look at me and relax, I'm harmless, at least so I've been told." He tried to lighten her mood.

Finally, she looked at him, a slight frown on her face and unhappiness clearly in the blue pools of her eyes.

She heard him sigh and saw the uncertainty in his eyes and her heart melted instantly, unknowingly, her eyes soften and the hard lines in her face smoothed away.

"Scully, I can't take it anymore" stopping he locked eyes with her; the intensity in them wouldn't allow any withdrawal from her.

"The last few months, you've flirted with two different men and your 'new focus' has been noticed in the bureau, too. You don't know how many agents who have questioned me about you, wanting me to slip in a word to you. Danny is working up his courage to invite you out; he has unfolded all the damn details of your upcoming date in details to me. Scully, I've tried to act like I don't care, tried to give you some freedom. But the truth is, I do care, very much."

Loosing his courage momentarily he studied his beer, when she kept quiet, he decided to fully dispose his heart and mumbled; "I want to be the one to brush away stray hair from your eyes, the one to stand close enough to you, to see the depths of your eyes, to bring a smile to your lips, the one to share an unspoken and private secret with you. And I want to be the only one to know every curve of you body and what it feels like underneath my fingers. I want to be the one who see your eyes clouded with longings and love. I want to be your one in five billion, Scully!"

Breaking her revenue, she breathed, "Mulder!" He was putting her fears to rest, he did care!" It wasn't just territorial instincts. His words left her speechless and light-headed.

"I though, we were right, when agreeing we had been caught in the events, even when it happened the seventh time. I believed, we shouldn't be more than work partners, that it was only moments of weakness. I fooled myself, Scully. We were never moments of weakness, only the weakness of not daring to be honest. You are my one in five billion, I won't lie anymore."

"Mulder!" was all she managed. It was unlike her not to react but all words had left her the moment he started his speech.

"How could you ask me to be the father of your child if you don't care for me? How could you take me to your bed Scully? Did you take the tattoo man to your bed?"

She saw the raw pain reflected in his eyes. "Of course not!" She stared at him in disbelief; "you know me better than that, Mulder, I haven't been with another man since you. It would be unbearable, unthinkable, when my heart is full of you." She whispered the last part, finding it difficult to share her feelings, when she still feared he would take his words back. It was hard to believe them after all they shared and thrown away, time after time.

Before she could think another thought, she felt two strong arms encircling her and pulling her up from the chair and into a tight embrace. Immediately, her arms enfolded him and her head found the well-known place on his hard chest, her breathing falling into tune with his. Sighing, she cherished the feeling of deep belonging.

The relaxed, content feeling, abruptly, shifted into a boiling rush, when his lips found hers. The hotness of his lips sends a tremble down her spine. Pure instinct drove her to slightly part her lips, when his tongue brushed her upper lip. A deep moan escaped her, when he pushed his tongue into her mouth and challenged her tongue into a duel of pleasures. Her knees buckled under her, and only his strong hold on her kept her from falling, every muscle in her body had turn into jelly. The wild dance in their mouths continued and left her breathless.

When his hand found a naked spot just above her skirt linen, it set her body on fire and covered her body with goose bumps, her own hands wandered up to his hair, pulling his face closer, she deepened the kiss. This time he moaned and pulled her body closer to his, it fit perfectly into his. A new fire was lit, when she felt his arousal pressing hard against her most private place.

Never breaking the kiss, he lifted her into his arms, kissing her hard before pulling his lips slightly away, he looked into her eyes asking for allowance, nodding she purred; "please, Mulder"

It was a request she needn't say twice, in large strides he carried her to her bedroom. Placing her in the middle of the bed he crawled in with her, capturing her body underneath his. His feverish lips attacked her already swollen ones. Moaning deeply, she pulled him closer, her impatient hands found their ways in underneath his shirt, desperately carving to feel his skin. His hard arousal pressing against her steered her hand to pull at his clothes, she needed more, needed to feel all of him. He seemed as eager, pulling slightly away, he started to undress her.

Much later, she rested her head against his chest, drawing small circles on his naked skin, she was fully content. Feeling his lips brushing her hair, she smiled, it felt so right.

"Scully, please tell me this isn't another few stolen nights. I can't play that game anymore"

"Neither can I, Mulder." Lifting her head she smiled into his eyes, "it seems like you will have more of me than you ever cared for"

"I want it all, never can have too much." He said before claiming her lips again.

"You will," she giggled, breaking the kiss to let air into her starving lungs. After two heavy breaths, her lungs settled and oxygen ran though her body. In a swift motion, she pulled his face closer, when it was only inches away from her lips, her attention shifted from his kiss-swollen lips to his eyes.

For a time they exchanged hearts though eyes, emotions floated wildly in the salty depths of four rivers. First the seas were clouded with pain, fear of loosing and uncertainties, but acknowledging the same in the other person, the shadows faded away and left room for the purity and honesty of two beating hearts, longing to beat in the same rhythm. They found common ground in their love for each other, a love both had savagely fought. In this moment their hearts entwined in a lifelong commitment, the road ahead would not always be easy and they would be at odds, sometimes. But neither would drift far away from the other, always bond to return.

Her eyes widened when feeling the pressure of his body against her, her body reacted instantly and opened up to him in a consuming fire. Lifting her head a few inches, she caught his lips and softly asked access to the core of his mouth, he gave it rapidly, eagerly. Their tongues easily found the dancing rhythm only they knew, wandering hands started to explore well-known and yet unknown places. The rhythm speeded up, hearts and souls mixed into a physical statement of the promise and commitment just given. It would never again be a chaste love from a distance. It would always need, demand, a physically outlet.

Hours later Scully came out from the bathroom wearing a bathrobe and a towel around her hair, her body a bit sore, but relaxed in a way she hadn't experienced before. Her eyes shone with a soft, pleased glove, she felt at ease with the world.

Finding Mulder in the kitchen her lips curled up into a full smile, he looked so cute in a wrinkled shirt only half bottomed.

"There you are" he smiled back, "I've ordered pizzas." Coming closer to her, he stopped right in front of her, "um, you smell nice. Think I will follow your good example and shower before the pizza-man is here. But on the other hand, I kinda like your smell on me, Scully." He winked seeing her blushing.

"Your t-shirts are still in the same closet." She called after him. The last time, they had been involved, had lasted long enough for him to bring some personal items over. Yet, she hadn't had the heart to give it back and he hadn't asked. Both had simply ignored, there had been more than friendship occasionally during the last two years. It had strained them, the last year, to pretend it hadn't happen at all. Strained her beyond reason, driving her to the state, where she lost sight of herself and what was good for her.

Absentmindedly, she found plates and glasses and brought them to the living-room, her mind still filled with Mulder and their lovemaking; it had been different this time, more intense and more honest. The other times urgent rush and fright had been the main feelings between them, both too afraid to loose the other to express the gentler side of their love.

This time they had showed more of themselves, shared more. Expressed more. Mulder had shown a new side of himself; one she had only seen in glimpses, when he talked about his sister and when he was frighten for her safety.

A hard knock on the door startled a grumble from her stomach; she hadn't realized how hungry she was.

"I will get it. " Mulder yelled from the bathroom. Within seconds, he searched his coat for his wallet.

"I'm capable of opening a door and pay the pizza-man" she giggled, a bit puzzled about his behaviour.

"I'm well aware of that, Scully, but you're no way dressed to open your door to a strange man." He glazed at her before he turned to answer the door.

"And you are?" Her stare slide up and down his body, taking in his appearance, he was wearing a t-shirt and a towel around his lower body. He looked tempting and more at ease with himself.

While paying for the pizzas he glanced at her over his shoulder, "maybe not, but men won't assault me for being half-naked." There was no joking in his eyes, it was the protective side of him, she witnessed. A stake of possessiveness she liked.

"Beside that, I'm not a sharing man," he said the words after closing the door, his sparkling eyes ran over her body, stopping at her face to capture her eyes, seriousness was underneath the sparkling, she understood he meant it. Strangely, the words excited her, normally she hated when a man thought her owned her. But with Mulder, it was different; it made her feel warm and happy. She couldn't deny it, didn't really want to, she was his. It was plane and simple, nothing abusive about it, it was on equal terms, they belonged together. He would never take advances of that and neither would she.

"Good, then we have that in common!" She said.

"I hope so." He wasn't smiling, "care for some pizza?" now smiling.

"Yeah"

They sat closely at the couch, hungrily digging into the pizzas and soft drinks, when the worst hunger was satisfied; Mulder leaned back taking Scully with him. Willingly, she curled into him, her head nested against his shoulder.

"Mulder?"

"Hmm"

She liked how his voice vibrated in his chest, "what should we do, you know the policy of the Fed, one of us will be transferred."

"I know Scully, I know" kissing the top of her head he stopped talking. "I don't want any of us transferred and re-assigned to a new partner. I don't think I can do that." He sighed.

"Neither can I, Mulder…But they will use any excuse to close the X-Files and get rid of you. We would hand them the victory on a silver plate…" She, too, sighed in frustration.

"Scully, is a public claim on me important for you?"

"Why? Mulder what are you saying?"

"It just a suggestion, we keep our love private, sharing no dirty details with anyone." Amusingly he glazed at her.

"You want a dirty little affair with no attachment, Mulder" She jested back.

"Like every man does, no way, Scully. All I'm saying is if we keep this private we'll be less vulnerable and we can work together. We'll just keep booking two motel-rooms and continue as usual. What do you say?"

"Two rooms?" She frowned, "I'm just getting used to sleeping next to you."

"Well, nobody says, I won't sneak into your room late at night, Scully. In a matter of fact, you'll have to lock your door to keep me out."

"I just might" she giggled, "I think it's the only acceptable plan we have; neither of us can give up now. It would make it all meaningless. "

"Locking your door you're already tired of me, Scully?" He faked hurt.

"I'll have to think about that…No. No, not yet, anyway!" She cupped his face between her hands and brought her lips to his. Soon all intension of talking vanished and passion overwhelmed them. "Nowhere near there, yet" she breathed into his mouth.

"Scully!" When she didn't react he tried again, "Scully!"


	10. Chapter 10

The ownership of the X-Files, Scully and Mulder hasn't changed since last chapter was posted – still belonging to Chris Carter.

Thanks for reviewing – they're great.

Chapter ten

Don't Give Up

Receiving no answer, he tried again; "Scully!"

Pushing the sweet memories away, she mumbled; "Yes, Mulder?"

"Were you sleeping?"

"No, just thinking about us."

"Huh? What do you think about this case?"

"I don't know, Mulder, but I'm sure you have a theory."

"I think this Jim Casey has a power to control other people, Scully, how, I don't know yet. But we have seen other cases where a person controls another person's mind and forces people to act against their own wills. Or it could be mass hypnoses. I think this is an X-File, Scully."

"Mulder, couldn't it just be a simple murder to revenge his brother's death case. Maybe the door was unlocked, when Jim Casey came to the rectory, and he simply locked it when leaving."

"It could be, Scully, but I still think we need to look for another explanation."

"There's a hotel, Mulder!" She needed a hot bath and a good night's sleep, whatever abilities Jim Casey had or hadn't, it would simply have to wait.

Allowing herself to drift back to memory lane, she reflected on the very nature of their relationship. They had promised to be serious and committed and they always were, but of course, they had failed on numerous occasions. Their differences had caused problems over the years. She had been pushed to the point of walking out of him and their work; stressed beyond reason and challenged by his demands and stubborn commitment to finding the truth. Sometimes believing, he wouldn't notice if she disappeared, that she was his second of third priority. He had proved her wrong, repeatedly. He always noticed, most often reacting by punishing her with a cold shoulder, pretending he can manage on his own.

Sometimes, she was trapped in this web, the mental part of her playing games against her better sense, especially when it came to other women. Diana Fowley had been an emotionally trigger, never faced in the same agony again, to that she was grateful.

She was tired of their game; it had unfolded, again, recently, when Mulder got involved with the case and Father Joe. She had threatened to leave and he had faked indifference. Her reasons to leave had changed, this time it had been deathly tiredness and raw fear, but the outcome was the same. Honestly, they were getting too old for this game. Anyway, they both knew they wouldn't leave for good, always bond to return.

Inside the Sandman Hotel Mulder booked a room for two, they hadn't slept apart for years, only the few nights when she considered leaving him, and they weren't about to start now. She hadn't liked those few nights; the bed at the hospital had been cold, hard and lonely.

Sinking into the bathtub, she wondered how his nights had been. Early in their relationship, he had hated to be alone, always calling her when they were apart and most often coming by, when he was supposed to sleep in his own apartment. Mulder was a talkative man except when it came to his emotions; then his actions took over and words eloped him.

"How did you sleep?" she asked when he entered the bathroom.

Puzzled he looked at her. "When?

"When you worked on the case?"

Knowing which case she needn't saying more. "I didn't!" He simply stated, "you know, I never do when you're not next to me."

Returning to the brushing of his teeth he admired her reflection in the mirror, he had a good full view.

"You're welcome to jump in, Mulder" she knew what he was doing. Eagerly, he accepted the offer. Settling against his body she relaxed and enjoyed his caressing hands.

The next morning they shared an omelette at the breakfast lounge in the hotel, it was big enough to share. She was wearing her long skirt and a long sleeved cotton t-shirt. In a small bag she had another long skirt and blouse together with Mulder's swimming trunks and a pair of towels. Before they left the room they had called William, he was fine and as talkative as his dad.

"A man came to see me, mommy" William innocently said.

Alarmed, Scully tightened her hold on her cell, "which man, William?"

Mulder being alarmed from her cutting tone of voice, came closer to her, squeezing his mouth he waited for their son's reply.

"A man with short brown hair, he was kind but didn't laugh much. He's okay mommy." William was already thinking about other more things, "can we buy ice cream when you come home?"

"We can have ice cream on Saturday, sweetheart. Is the man working with the FBI, William?" Her heart thumping so violently, she almost choked on the words, afraid of the answer. Why had she agreed to leave her son?

"He knows you. Don't worry mommy, he's a friend. I told you I'll be here when you come home. Grandma is calling, bye!"

"Bye, William. Mommy loves you" she whispered but the boy had already hung up.

"He said it was a friend, a man working with the FBI. What if it's not true, Mulder?"

"Skinner promised to keep and eye on him, he said not to worry yesterday evening. I think William is safe, Scully. We can't worry every time someone looks at our son. Will you be ok?" He examined her face closely.

"I don't know, Mulder. If I don't feel better later I'm going home!"

"That's a deal." He kept his own worry out of his voice.

Mulder was unusual quiet in the car; normally he would go on about one of his theories, talking himself warm. However, today he had become mute. First, she enjoyed the peace and the chance to think, but before long the silence became alarmingly loud, and she tried to read his profile.

"Are you okay, Mulder?"

"Yeah, I'm just wondering, you know!" He gave her a quick look.

"No, no I don't know, Mulder." She had no clue of what he was hinting at.

"I tried something like this before, I think. Albert Hosteen preformed a healing circle or something like that for me, after the cancer man blew up the boxcar in Mexico, remember? I'm not sure what Albert Hosteen did, I'm just wondering if it's the same we will do today."

"Oh, I don't know. I left before I saw what they did to Albert Hosteen when I was in Mexico. I thought it wrong to join them when I didn't share their faith."

"What about now?" He smiled at her.

"Now, I don't know. I've seen too many things I can't explain. Albert Hosteen coming to pray with me when he was in a coma, the things Joe Taylor said and Father Joe. I just don't know what to believe anymore. Is anything just good or just bad, I truly don't know, Mulder."

"You're troubled by how the Church treated the children?" It wasn't necessary to ask her.

"Yeah, yes I'm."

"Scully, will you join the sweat lodge?"

"I don't know, Mulder."

Swinging into the driveway of Joe Taylor, she remembered what he had said, "will you, Mulder? You never really said much about what happened in Mexico."

"I don't really remember anything; just that my father talked to me and something I never told you, I saw you."

"You saw me?" Puzzled she stared at him, "didn't you say it was the dead talking to you."

Warily, he looked at her from the corner of his eyes, "Albert Hosteen said that sometimes the living has a stronger hold of us than the deaths."

"I hope so but what does that mean, Mulder?"

"Come on Scully, I had a crush on you already then"

"Oh, that was what it was, a crush" Rolling her eyes she continued; "it must have been one hell of a crush, if it made you linger on this long."

"It was!" He didn't take his eyes of the dusty road.

"Mulder!"

"It is, I'm still here." He laughed.

Giggling, she jested, "Not for long if you assume, I'm only a crush."

"A crush that doesn't die easily, satisfied?"

"No, not really, Mulder" It was just a silly game to her.

"Well, you can make it more permanent if you want? I've been down on my knees."

She was saved by Joe Taylor, who came out to greet them as soon as he heard the car.

"Saved by the bell!" Mulder mumbled.


	11. Chapter 11

The X-Files, Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter.

Thanks for taking time to read and review. Always love to know what people think about the story

Chapter eleven

Don't Give UP

Joe Taylor nodded his head in greeting when they stepped out of the car.

"Let's go down to the sweat, I'll explain a few things before the others join us. You'll be the only whites."

They followed Joe Taylor the short way down to the sweat. The sweat lodge looked very small, not tall enough for a man to stand in his full length inside of it, the lodge was round shaped and covered with blankets. It appeared to be nothing much but at the same time, it draw her with a gentle power.

"The four colours you see in the flags represent the four colours of men; the yellow people, the white people, the negroes and the red people. We are all the same in the sweat and all colours are welcome." He explained in his humble voice. "You have doubts" he turned to Scully, "nothing is entirely good or entirely bad; we choose the nature of who we are and how we choose to act. Your faith is inside your heart and it is between you and the creator, I've learned to take the best parts of two worlds, maybe you can learn the same."

Soon, they were joined by five elderly men and three elderly women; a woman took Scully aside and approved her clothes. Gently, the woman told Scully the protocol. Still, unsure of the rightness of her participating, Scully grimaced.

"You'll be okay and you won't offend anyone" The elder woman, June, smiled reassuringly at her.

Looking into the fire beside the sweat Scully made up her mind, she would give it a try, even if it didn't help solving the case. It wasn't a sin and she had wandered before, once in the temple. Prayers were the same no matter where they were said, she would let go of her fear, the fear that kept coming back to. Her fear of believing.

_When the darkness surrounded Scully her prayers came easily to her. She gave thanks for the returning of her son, as soon as the words left her mouth, peace surrounded her and she was able, for the moment, to let go of her fear of loosing William. Feeling a small breeze caressing her chin she heard the faint words; "don't fear for him."_

_Shocked, she opened her eyes and inhaled abruptly, it was the same clearness she had experienced, when praying in the temple years ago. _

A few hours and a change of clothing later Scully sat next to June inside the house, they were the only women left. June was as petite a woman as Scully and ageing beautifully. A joy radiated from the woman affecting her surroundings positively, having learned the woman suffered from diabetes, and had lost a husband to alcohol and a son to crime, Scully was amazed.

"We only survive if we maintain our humour. Your son will be fine; he was given back to you to stay. Miracles can happen twice." June patted Scully's hands kindly before she got up from the chair.

Stunned, Scully watched the woman leave; she had just given voice to Scully's biggest fear. Giving Scully no chance to answer June was gone. She had felt a peace settle in her during the sweat, a promise of time with her son had been whispered in her ear, but dared she believe it? Dared she believe the woman's words? So much in her life was a question of faith, simple and not so simple faith.

Walking over to Mulder, she was rewarded with a big smile from him and a quick peek on her lips, "you're okay? He whispered to her. Nodding her head, she ran a hand though his hair. "What about you?"

"Fine!"

Joe Taylor came over to them, "we will go to Standoff now to meet Jim Casey.

In the car she took the opportunity to re-read the file, it was thin. Nothing unusual had been found at the crime scene, except that the bodies were lying on their backs in a circle. It was odd.

"Mulder, did you notice that the bodies lay in a circle on their backs?"

Never moving her eyes from the file, she turned the paper.

"Yes, I did and I find it even odder now, why would they gather in a circle to die. I think this Jim Casey had something to do with it. I still think it involves mass hypnoses or mind controlling. We have seen it before, the total control of the victims."

"Have you considered that they were placed in a circle after they were killed, Mulder. It would be a logical answer."

"Yes it would, but I don't think so. I think they died in that circle."

His statement earned him one of her sceptic glanced.

"A hunch." He simply stated.

Not bothering to comment his statement, she looked at the autopsy files, they looked normal. No toxics or alcohol or drugs were found in the bodies. Her eyes quickly scanned through the information again, abruptly, they stopped at the bottom of the last piece of paper. A petite font said something she had overlooked before, the typing seemed to have been written in haste and regretted.

"Mulder! The bodies have been exposed to an extremely high temperature, their organs appears to have been boiled. I can't figure out how it happened, the outside of the bodies haven't been exposed to heat. Why didn't Phoebe tell us that? I whish I had the photos"

"Scully, do you have a theory?"

"No, I don't, but here are cases where people develop such extreme temperatures that their organs are damaged."

"I think our guy, Jim Casey, has some special powers."

"Why was the pictures removed from the file, that's what I'm thinking, Mulder."

Arriving at the Kainai Tribe Reserve building they got out of the car and followed Joe Taylor inside, this time they passed the large room and went into a smaller one. In a chair watching television sat an older man; he turned his head and looked at them when they entered.

Getting up from the chair, he switched off the television and turned his chair to face them, four chairs were placed in a circle and he pointed to the empty ones.

Sitting down Scully studied the man, he, like Joe Taylor, had a special air of power around him, only this man had none of the humbleness and gentleness, she found in Joe Taylor. This man wasn't ageing nicely, he obviously suffered from an illness, his face swollen and coloured in a light shade of purple. His hair hadn't lost its colour it was, still, silky ebony. His eyes held the clarity of a man who knew his destiny. He was a proud man.

"I hear you have been looking for me." He said.

"Are you Jim Casey?" Scully asked.

"I am." He confirmed.

"We're agents Scully and Mulder." Both agents flashed their badges.

"We've reason to believe, you've recently been in England running sweat lodges. It that correct Mr. Casey" Scully asked in a neutral voice.

Watching them intensely Jim Casey answered, "I just got home from England a few days ago, why?"

"Five young men died after attending one of your sweat lodges, Mr. Casey, are you aware of that?"

"Yes I'm aware of that. They came to the sweat to find answers about how their Church affected the Native American's lives. They knew only parts of the history, believing the church saved the children from the evil of paganism. The truth horrified them. The children were stolen from their homes and forced to leave everything behind, their hearts and families. Many children were never returned. We lost so much to the Catholic Church and the white man. They took our future."

"You lost your twin brother at your boarding –school?" The question was asked by Mulder.

"He died after a server beating, punished for speaking Blackfoot. Too young to understand his crime, he died. He never found his heart again."

"Did you find your heart again, Mr. Casey?" Scully studied the man.

"I returned to our traditions and looked into my heart." She let it pass that he avoided answering the question directly.

Glazing, briefly at Scully Mulder asked, "who was responsible for your brother's death, Mr. Casey?"

"Father Johnson and his disciple Levinson. Levinson, who always followed Father Johnson, could've stopped him but he chose not to, and he helped Father Johnson covering up afterwards." Jim Casey spoke in a monotone voice, showing no emotions at all.

"Did you have anything to do with the deaths at the Rectory?" Mulder pressed.

"We all have to take responsibility for our actions sooner or later, agent Mulder. We can't avoid paying for our crimes"

"You didn't answer my question. Are you responsible for their deaths?"

"I wasn't there when they died, agent Mulder."

"We'll be in touch, don't leave the reserve." Scully got up, they were getting no where with Jim Casey, but sensing they had overlooked something, she was reluctant to leave.


	12. Chapter 12

I haven't come to the ownership of The X-Files, Scully and Mulder, they are still Chris Carter's

Chapter twelve

Don't Give Up

Crowsnest Highway

April, 22 2008

16. 33 P.M

Outside the building they thanked Joe Taylor for his hospitality and help, giving her one of his rare direct stares, Joe Taylor told her that they were always welcome again and welcome to bring their son. She felt touched when she shook his hand, knowing he had trusted them enough to share his sacred ceremony, and grateful that he had been able to bypass her doubts. His few words directed at her had held a deeper meaning, giving her an insight she had sought. In the sweat lodge, she had been able to give thanks for the return of her son, give thanks that William hadn't been damaged from all the things, which had happened to him in his short life. It had felt right to give thanks in there and not somewhere else.

When they had been driving for a while in silence, she broke it "Mulder?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened in there?" He couldn't fool her.

Taking his eyes of the road, he locked them with her and smiled, "maybe it's time we pick out china together, Scully, you know me too well." Not awaiting her answer, he moved his sight back to the road. "I kept returning to the fact that my parents chose Samantha instead of me, the pain was unbearable, I felt it hundred times in there. Until I finally understood; I'm not to be blamed. I didn't make the choice and I win nothing by blaming myself. I may never know who made the decision, but I can't change the fact that she died and I didn't. I deserve to be happy even though, I couldn't save her." He didn't sound convinced.

"Of course you do, Mulder. It wasn't your fault." Taking his hand in hers she caressed it.

"Scully, what about you, what happened to you in there?"

Exhaling, she studied his hand, "I understood how angry I've been for loosing William and how much I fear loosing him again. I can't go through that again." Pausing briefly, she sighed, "I came to understand I've to let go of that fear, I need to have faith in, that this time we will all be okay."

"That's a lot for one day, I think we were meant to be here today, that…"

He was interrupted by his cell phone. "We will be here" he said into the phone.

"Who was that?" She inquired; they were only five minutes from their hotel.

"Joe Taylor. They just found Jim Casey dead. He doesn't seem harmed in any way."

"What?" Less than an hour ago Jim Casey and been alive.

Turning the car he followed the road back to the reserve. Scully reached for the case file, the feeling of having overlooked something hadn't left her, yet. Turning the first page the list of the deceased names stared at her. One name caught her attention.

"Father Levison, age 72. It must be the same Levison who worked with Father Johnson at Jim Casey's boarding-school, Mulder"

"What?"

"One of the deceased is a Father Levison, he was head of the wing at the Rectory. He was found dead together with the young men. He has to be the connection to Jim Casey, Mulder."

"I think you're right." He agreed.

The body of Jim Casey lay on the back underneath a tree not far from Joe Taylor's place. There was nothing which indicated a crime had been committed. It appeared as the man had slumbered peacefully into his death.

Lightly touching the corpse of Jim Casey, Scully felt the heat radiating from inside the body, the skin was supposed to be cooling down by now, but it couldn't due to the heat inside. The complicity puzzled Scully, the body lay outside with no heating power anywhere near the death scene. There was no evidence that the body had been moved, everything appeared normal, except that the body was burning up from inside.

"Mulder" she called, he was talking to Joe Taylor a few feet away from her.

Obediently, he finished his conversation and came to her side. "Feel this" she touched Jim Casey again.

"Ouch, guess he wasn't a cool man." Stepping closer to her, he asked; "Scully, what do you think?"

"I think he died from the same thing the victims in the Rectory died from. I can only assume it a virus raising the temperature rapidly, stressing the body into death. Or that he somehow had the ability to spontaneous self-ignition but failed halfway."

"I think we are on to something here, but I don't thing it's about self-ignition. I think he could start a sweat lodge inside other people, a process where he controlled the temperature." Mulder directed his next question to Joe Taylor, "besides the sweat lodge how did Jim Casey help his people?"

"Jim was known for his healing powers, he worked hard to help people out of their addictions. His heart was bleeding for those who were lost in their hearts, the ones who had lost their identities."

Listening to the dialogue Scully asked the next question, "how did he heal people?"

Reflecting over her question, Joe Taylor was quiet for a few minutes; "Your logical sense and your sixth sense often fight, you are more in tune with your spiritually than you pretend to be. You already know the answer. Your husband has already explained it. He sees the connections though he hasn't got your faith." Reaching one hand out, he handed her a package, "Here, this is for your son. Don't give up, agent Scully!""

Having spoken the last word Joe Taylor turned around and walked to his car, without looking back he entered the car and drove away. Scully looked at the large package in her hand, she couldn't see or imagine what was inside of it.

She watched the car drive away. The words which code she hadn't broken yet, had been spoken to her again. They affected her the same way, this time, bewildered, confused and unable to understand, she felt lost and alone. Why did these three words hunt her? What was it she had yet to understand?

"Scully, what was that about?"

"I think Joe Taylor supports your theory. Jim Casey had the gift of healing people, but nothing is entirely good or entirely bad, it's how we choose to use it. Jim Casey used his ability well for many years, until the thought of revenge swallowed him, and he chose to use it to harm people. "

"Eventually, he was caught by his own actions. Scully, you do believe this has something to do with faith and miracles?" He was unconvinced.

"Healing is not unknown to the Church; there are a lot of examples where prayers have had a healing effect. I saw healing save Daniel's life. I've seen prayers getting answered. But I don't know what to believe in this case, Mulder"

"I think you need to do an autopsy on Jim Casey."

The local reserve police had been called and they agreed to send the body to Quantico_. _There was nothing left for Scully or Mulder to do at the reserve. They would return home. By luck, they could be home the same evening.


	13. Chapter 13

The X-Files, Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

This story is coming to its end very soon.

Enjoy!

Chapter thirteen

Don't Give Up

The Scully-Mulder residence

April, 22 2008

11.41 P.M

Luck was with them, later the same evening they walked through their front door. Margaret Scully greeted her daughter and her, hopefully to be one day, son- in- law, quickly assuring Dana, that William was fine and hadn't suffered in their absent. Unexpectedly, her daughter seemed calmer than when she had left, only a tiny hint of haunting was left in her blue eyes. And Dana took the time to hug her mother and get out of her coat, before she walked to her son's room.

Leaving the door widely ajar to let some light in; Scully stepped into the blue of her son's room. Squatting beside his bed, she lightly caressed his cheek and kissed him softly on his forehead, like she so often had kissed his dad.

Feeling lighter in her heart, she enjoyed being able to caress her son, whatever had happened in the sweat lodge, she had released some of her anger and fear.

For the first time, since receiving the call from Molly Van De Kamp, she felt at peace.

She was beginning to believe they all three had a future together; believe that their future had been given back to them with the return of their son. According to the Natives; children were the future, and it made perfectly sense to her when looking at her own child.

Sensing Mulder walking into the room she got up to make room for him, she knew he wanted to say hallo to their son, too. Quietly, she left the room to give them a private moment. She could only hope Mulder had gained some peace, too.

Peace had never come easily for them the past 15 years, they had pretended the last six years to be settled with their situation, but it had been a thick lie.

Both had been fighting a lost cause, having to give up your child and dreams destroyed you a little day by day, left your rootless and without hope for the future. Sure, she had had her faith but often it seemed hollow, when she tried to find meaning in it all, God had given her what she had wanted most; a child, only to take that child away again. She had kept on to her faith, never banished it and perhaps that was why she was given a second chance. She could only imagine what it would've done to her being forced to give up her faith, it would've destroyed her.

Faith had given her some comfort, even when she had cursed God, she had always returned to her faith. She had been forced to give up her child just like the Natives had for a long time but nobody had forced her to give her faith up.

"You're okay, Scully?" She hadn't heard him leaving the room, feeling the warmth of his hands against her chins, she exhaled, "I'm fine, Mulder, just thinking."

"About what?" He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

Leaning into his lips for a moment, she relaxed, "later Mulder, I want to talk to my mom." Pulling away, she turned to leave, "Okay," he whispered softly, knowing when not to press her.

Margaret Sully thanked no to stay the night over, if it was okay with them, she wanted to go home to her own bed. If she left tonight she could join her patchwork group tomorrow. She also thanked no to Mulder's offer of driving behind her home due to the lateness of the night. She could manage, most of the time she would drive on main roads, it would be safe, she said, and it was only a short ride, anyway.

She hugged her daughter tightly and thanked her for the opportunity to spend time with her grandson and offered to come, whenever they needed her. William was an adorable boy and he reminded her of both Dana and Fox. She felt very blessed and relieved. Secretly, she had feared for her daughter, seeing Dana loosing two children had broken her heart. Knowing what it felt like to loose a child and almost loose another one, had left her wondering how her daughter could possibly handle her losses and keep sane.

She had witnessed the toll it had taken on Dana, how she had turned a part of herself off, only inviting her young patients to pass through her shells. Life had become a matter of survival. Margaret Sully was glad Fox had come back to her daughter; he gave her life meaning and a kind of stability, ironically.

Closing the door behind her mother, Scully massaged her temples, she was tired, out of practice with the field work, travelling and, now, on top of it she had to balance it with a family. Lightning up, she smiled, her family made her weary worth it all.

Snuggling up to Mulder sleep found her immediately. Pulling Scully closer, Mulder settled for watching television alone, it was rarely any of them fell asleep before two in the morning or later. Within moments his eyelids grew heavy, each time he blinked it became harder to re-open his eyes, giving up he closed his eyes and joined Scully in sleep.

After what felt like minutes the alarm clock set off, startled Mulder bolted up, his action caused Scully to tilt down from his chest. Annoyed, she hissed "Mulder?"

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" he hadn't meant to manhandle her.

"No, why is the television still running?" Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, her focus changed when she heard small footsteps approaching the bedroom, followed by a small knock on the door, before she could beg him in William busted though the door. Smiling she forgave him right away, understanding his zeal she opened her arms to greet her son.

Inhaling his sweet child scent, she whispered into his ear "Good morning, William."

"I missed you a lot mommy, did you miss me?" resting his head against her chest he leaned into her arms.

"Of course I did, William and so did your dad!" She reassured the child.

"Good" pulling out of her arms, he turned to his dad and threw himself on top of Mulder. "Grandma can come and stay anytime."

"So you had a good time with your grandma?" Mulder's voice was still hoarse from sleep.

"Yeah, will you take me to school today?" Becoming restless William jumped down from the bed, "I'm hungry, can I have some serials?"

"Can you wait for a minute, I don't want to you to eat in front of the TV. I'll be there in a moment, okay, sweetheart?"

"Okay, mommy" he yelled on his way out of the room.

Stretching, she faked annoyance, "no sleeping in today." Leaning over she kissed Mulder, "good morning." Pulling her closely into his arms his body said good morning to her.

"We have a school and an autopsy to catch" she whispered regrettably.

He laid back and watched her leave the bed, her blue night grown was low cut in the front and smoothed the curves of her body perfectly, he felt a rush of desire.

Even after all these years his desire for this woman hadn't eased, her beauty still stunned him. He was amazed he was the lucky man to hold her at night, that his caresses awoke her desire and that the love in her eyes was only meant for him.

Feeling his hot stare, she turned "Mulder, are you getting up?" Slipping into her kimono, she never waited for his answer but left the room. From one look at him, she knew exactly his line of thoughts and decided it would be best if she didn't stay.

Busying herself in the kitchen her body cooled of, William's rambling of school and his Grandma was sweet music to her ears. Before long breakfast was ready, omelettes with mushrooms and green peppers, brown toast and cereals. Mulder shuffled into the kitchen and found the milk in the refrigerator for William, and poured coffee in big mugs for Scully and him. He needed it to fully awake.

He was in a white t-shirt and white cotton pyjamas pants, neither of the three had bothered to change into day outfits yet.


	14. Chapter 14

The X-Files, Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter.

Thanks for reviewing – it's really nice of you 

Chapter fourteen

Don't Give Up

FBI Headquarter.

April, 23rd 2008

08.52 A.M

An hour later they entered the Hover building, passing the security check Scully kissed William goodbye, she would head directly for Quantico and leave it to Mulder to walk William to the school section.

As soon as Scully disappeared into the elevator Mulder felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Tell me you honestly can't enjoy the domestic life, Fox. Has agent Scully cast a spell on you?" Laughing, Phoebe moved her hand to squeeze his hand.

Without waiting for his answer, her eyes scanned the small boy, "and who may you be young man?"

Withdrawing his hand from Phoebe's, Mulder took his son's hand.

"I'm William Felix Scully" The boy proudly stated, "agent Scully is my mommy!"

"She had fun without you Fox, you should learn from that." Seductively, she leaned into him.

"Well, I better take this young man to his class." Avoiding any more of her touches and badly hidden invitation Mulder headed for the elevator.

"See you in a little while, Fox" Phoebe called after him.

Quantico

9.13 A.M

After slipping into the powder blue scrubs and mask Scully studied the body of Jim Casey, his facial expression relaxed and his body showing no visible signs of struggle. Running her hand over his arm, she registered that his temperature had fallen to the normal, for a body being death for this period of time. Turning on the microphone, she began her autopsy.

Removing his lungs and heart she noticed the size and form of them, they appeared to have shrink, the colour and surfaces indicated the organs had been exposed to a high temperature very close to boiling level. It was a puzzle, only the organs were damaged. The outside of Jim Casey bore no evidences of exposing to heat.

Cutting off small samples of each organ, including lever and kidneys, she sent them to the lab for further analyzing. Leaning in over the body to take pictures, she briefly noticed the body was odour free, very unusual.

In deep thoughts she left Quantico, it was a very odd case. They had solved nothing, really.

"Agent Scully?"

Lifting her head she stared directly into a pair of light blue eyes, "agent Doggett! It's good to see you, how are you?"

"Fine, thank you, and how are you agent Scully? You look good!"

Giggling, she said, "a few years older, thanks. I feel good."

"I saw your son the other day; he looks a lot like you, same eyes and a light shade of auburn in his hair. He has grown a few feet since I last saw him."

Relief washed through her, "You're the man he talked about."

"Guilty as charged. He's smart boy, spelled a few words for me and proudly stated that you and Mulder are his parents. Told him I knew him, when he was just a baby."

Studying him while he spoke, she noticed he had aged a little during the past six years, more lines had formed around his eyes and mouth, but his stare was as stern as ever. He was still a handsome and honourable man.

"AD Skinner asked me to keep an eye on him while you were gone, it was no bother at all." He explained further.

"I'm glad you did, thank you. How have you been, agent Doggett?"

"Just fine, I've been with violent crimes in New York the past two years. Skinner asked me to join his task force here, so now I'm working with kidnapping cases, have been for the last two months."

"Violent crimes, why?" He had such potentials; it must have been a setback for him.

"Kersh's hands were forced, he did his best for Skinner, Monica and I, but we had to hold low profiles until recently. I don't know what has changed"

"I'm sorry you had to give so much up for us." She hadn't known and felt guilty.

"Don't be, we did what was right."

"Please come to dinner soon, I'm sure Mulder wants to catch up too." After they had sorted their differences out, he had become a good and thrust-worthy friend. She had missed him.

"Thanks, I'll take you up on that offer, agent Scully. It was nice to see you."

"It was nice to see you too, agent Doggett!"

The X-File office

11.34 A.M

Sitting at his desk Mulder tried to ignore Phoebe, she was sitting in Scully's chair and her eyes were threatening to burn holes in him. For nearly half an hour she had entertained him with memories from their past and indirectly, stressing, how well they had been together. Her aggressive manner, which he once had found attractive, provoked him. It was meant to tease his desire but had the total opposite effect on him; he wondered when he could expect Scully here. Soon he hoped.

Getting up he moved to the file cabinet, it was an attempt of closing out the words that kept steaming from Phoebe's mouth, not because he had a case file to find.

Tiredly closing his eyes, he let his guards down and didn't feel her before it was too late. Phoebe had him cornered, pressing her body against the back of his body, she breathed warmly into his neck, her lips lingered dangerously close to his skin. His only possibility of moving was back into her body and he had no desire of doing just that.

Behind him he heard the office door being pushed open; now, he suddenly wished it wouldn't be Scully.

"Err" A man was clearing his voice behind them. "Bad timing" Phoebe whispered into his ear, he couldn't disagree more. Stepping back she allowed him to swiftly move away from her.

"Yes," Mulder said to the man who stood in the door opening, meeting his saviour's judging eyes, Mulder cursed under his breath, it was the handsome agent Hansen.

"Ohm, I've some test results for your wife, agent Scully?" Agent Hansen stressed the word wife while waving some papers wildly into the air. It was clearly he disliked Mulder right now.

"I'm not his wife." Scully walked into the room and snapped the papers from agent Hansen, "Thank you, it was fast."

Admiration was evident in agent Hansen face and he uttered happily, "it explains a lot!" But thinking back to the hallway accident, it really didn't. Scully and Mulder had seemed close at that time; perhaps it was just from having a child together.

"Huh?" Scully raised her eyebrows in question; taking her eyes of the papers she shot agent Hansen a long glare.

"Why he caught agent Mulder and me in a compromising situation" Phoebe came to his aid, when agent Hansen seemed to have lost his voice.

Moving her glare to Mulder, Scully studied him carefully; he locked eyes with her and seemed only slightly uncomfortable, not anything like a guilty man would.

"The man has to willingly participating in the situation before it can be called compromising, Phoebe" Looking directly at Scully he moved closer to her.

Relaxing, Scully directed her focus back to the papers, "what do you make of this agent Hansen?" Purposely, she ignored Mulder but didn't move when he stayed close to her.

At the same time agent Hansen eagerly stepped closer too. Much to Phoebe's dislike, both men's attentions were on agent Scully.

"Well, to me it's clear someone took the time and effort to boil the organs. I guess we have a rare case of cannibalism here."

Looking up, Scully coolly replied, "on the contrary agent Hansen, the organs were never removed from the body."

"Oh, he's a fire victim then?" Agent Hansen offered.

Sharing a very fast glaze with Mulder, Scully focused on agent Hansen again, "no, he didn't die in a fire or anywhere near heat."

"How?" agent Hansen was confused.

"A typical X-File, this is no different than most of our cases agent Hansen." Mulder coldly answered.

Feeling left out Phoebe turned to agent Hansen; "what on earth made you assume agent Scully and Fox are married?"


	15. Chapter 15

The X-Files, Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter.

My sincere thanks for reading and reviewing.

Chapter fifteen

Don't Give Up

Stepping away from the couple, agent Hansen looked sceptical at detective Green, "the fact they have a son together!"

Blown away Phoebe muttered, "Oh, she didn't have fun alone then."

"Pardon me?" Scully was getting tired of this foolish game of two strangers dogging their noses into her personal life. "Detective Green, do you remember the case you gave us?"

"Sure I do, I was expecting Fox to fill me in on over lunch!" Some of the air had gotten out of Phoebe, but trying to stay in the game, she leaned against the desk.

Sighing, Scully looked down, "Mulder, Skinner wants our reports by the end of the day." Looking firmly at him she continued, "I will start my tests at the lab. They've to be run for days."

"Then I guess you're free for lunch, Fox!"

"No, I'm not Phoebe! I'll start my report in the lab. You can read a copy with Skinner later." He had let this game run for far too long, he suddenly realised.

Following Scully out of the office, he tested the water by placing his hand on the small of her back; she accepted his touch. "Sorry I was an ass in there, Scully."

"Why didn't you just tell her? It's not a big secret anymore, Mulder. I think our private status is out in the open by now, don't you?"

"Guess she has a way to always corner me and maybe I was flattered." Frowning he quickly stated, "but only until I saw the relief in agent Hansen's face, when you announced, you weren't my wife.

"Hard to swallow your own medicine?" Glazing at him, she raised one eyebrow

"Come on, Scully, I've to get use to openly claiming you as my woman."

"Sure!" Rolling her eyes she said, "did you remember you laptop." Unimpressed by any of his answers, she looked at his empty hands.

"Damn!"

"Guess, we'll be writing the report together. You can do the typing." He was forgiven, after all she had enjoyed her little encounter with agent Hansen too. Smiling softly she squeezed his hand.

Fully focused Scully started the project of separating the particles in William's blood, a growing part of her wanted to cancel all the analyses; afraid of the results. Images of Gibson played vividly in her mind; the boy's ability to reading minds was more of a curse than a gift to him. The ability had forced him to hide for the last many years or be hunted down like an animal without rights. Today, Gibson was a young man and for the past four years his life had been relatively normal, especially after he had settled in Nevada with a former abducted girlfriend. Only Mulder and she knew his location.

Noticing the quietness she looked up from her task meeting his glare, "have you started the report, Mulder?"

"Of course I have, Scully!"

Not moving an inch she kept her stern stare at him, "then why are you ogling me?"

"I know you're scared of what you may find, I fear the exact same things, the possibilities we both feared before he was born, Scully. But William is fine; he is everything we dreamed of, do we need to know?"

"I need to know, Mulder. Don't you? I've never seen you back away from the truth. Why now?"

Biting his bottom lip he mumbled, "I want the truth but he's our son, I fear what it will do to you if you find something unwanted." Secretly, he feared for them both.

"I need to know, guessing would destroy me. He's our son no matter what. But I need to know how to protect him. I want to bring light to the darkness, Mulder! This is the only way I know how." As much as she dreaded the answers, she couldn't go on without them. Unshed tears found their way into the blue orbs of her eyes. Blinking rapidly, she forced them away, this wasn't the time.

"Ok."

She watched him bowing his head and running his fingers over the keyboard, soon he was engrossed in his writing. Following his example she lost herself in her work. The truth was always better than wild guessing. She would fight until her last breath for her family.

Skinner's office

14.53 P.M

Walking into Skinner's office Scully's steps automatically slowed down, so many memories were linked to this room, many unpleasant but also a few good ones. Skinner had proven his loyalty, repeatedly, in the past years, he was a dear friend.

Mulder followed behind her, his mind spinning with memories as well. They found their seats, choosing the once familiar ones. Scully seated closest to the door they had just entered.

Briefly, scanning the room she realised they were alone, detective Green wasn't here to bright up the room, yet. Crossing her legs, she studied a point just above Skinner's face.

"This is your final report, agents?"

"Yes, Sir"

Staying quiet Scully gazed at Mulder.

"Before we have company I would like to remind you of the Bureau's policy. I see you shared a room in Lethbridge, FBI doesn't allow that. Only married couples shares rooms, I won't tolerate that in the future. What you do with your spare time is your own case, but book two rooms."

"Will Scully and I be split up if we got married?"

Looking from Mulder to Scully and back to Mulder, Skinner considered his answer. "No, I don't see why they would split you up. The X-File office has never followed the rules and your returning was out of protocol too. I think the matter would be technicality overlooked. Why, are you getting married?"

"No!" The reply came fast and final from Scully.

At the same time Mulder gave his view on the matter, "maybe"

Irritation and disbelieve coloured Skinner's face, studying both agents closely his sight finally landed on Mulder. "Glad that you're agreeing on something, now that we have discussed your personal affairs and the policies of FBI, perhaps we can return to the case?"

A knock on the door interrupted their answers, begging the visitor in Skinner welcomed detective Green with a hint of coldness in his voice.

Phoebe wouldn't settle with the chair in the back where visitors normally sat during this sort of meetings, instead she pushed the chair next to Mulder, sat down and crossed her legs, swinging a foot she tried to attract attention to her legs.

Turning his head Mulder shared a smile with Scully; he wasn't tempted to look anywhere else.

"From your report, I can't really determinate the curse of death for any of the deceased. Can you enlighten me, agent Scully?"

"The toxic screens showed no trace of any drugs, alcohol or poison. Detective Green's report states that nothing abnormal or unusual were found on the crime scene or in the bodies. I've to disagree with detective Green, a note states that all organs of all seven bodies appear to have been exposed to an extremely high temperature. Almost as if the organs had been cooked but the organs never were removed from the bodies. The same seems to be the case with Jim Casey. His body was found under a tree, we found no source of heat or fire anywhere nears the body, but his inside was boiling when we found him. The outside of the body bore no evidence of being exposed to heat. Again the toxic screen showed no trace of drugs, alcohol or poison. "

"You've an explanation for this, agent Mulder?"

"Yes. Agent Scully and I attended a Native ceremony in Standoff, a sweat lodge. The healing comes from prayers and steam from the hot stones, the temperature in there was high, close to a 100 degrees. I believe Jim Casey could control this process outside the sweat lodge and without help from hot stones. He could start a sweat lodge inside a person. For a time, he used it wisely to heal his people, but as his mind turned darker and darker, he started punishing people with his ability. He demanded justice for his people and for the death of his twin brother at a Catholic boarding-school. He boiled his victims to death with his will."

Skinner held the report between his hands, with a sceptic frown he stared at the open page, moving his eyes to Scully; he studied her for a while. When she didn't object to Mulder's theory, he looked briefly at the papers before turning his glare to detective Green. Unused to this kind of cases anymore, he was a loss for words, he had seen too much to doubt but not enough to fully believe the truth in this case. He had the highest respect for the agents sitting in front of him, normally, he would support them right away, But unsure of Detective Green's agenda, he searched for the right words.

"Detective Green, what do you think of this case?"

Running her eyes up and down Mulder, Phoebe said, "a bit unexpected and challenging, I would say."

Not knowing what to make of her answer, Skinner stared at her in disbelieve, "meaning what, detective Green?"

"Agent Mulder, solved the case in a creative manner, his fresh approached of the case is acceptable for Scotland Yard, at least for now."

"I'm only half of the team." Mulder glazed at Scully.

"Well, then we're done here. Good work agents!" Skinner dismissed them.

Scully rose from the chair and stalked to the door, her mind on her son, before she had the chance to step out of the office, she was stopped by Skinner. "Agent Scully, I would like a word with you."

Stopping in her tracks she turned around, taking a few steps back, she allowed Mulder to pass her. "I'll wait for you in the office" he said in the passing. He was followed by Phoebe who looked very pleased with the situation.

Closing the door behind her Scully walked back and re-positioned in the chair again. Waiting for Skinner to talk she studied her hands.

"Agent Scully, a little while ago, I was contacted by a woman who claims to have conceived and given birth to a child, even though her doctors had stated she was barren. The child, a girl, is now 12 years old and very ill. She is in a special program outside the official medical channels. The mother fears the company behind the program is barely keeping her daughter alive, to use her as a test person for cruel purposes. "Pausing he judged her reaction, finding no emotions in her face he continued, "I know you've personal experiences, your daughter was in a special program as well. I don't want to stir up bad memories but I would like you to look into this case."

"Where does this woman live?" Scully kept her composure; Emily was a bittersweet memory, a child that wasn't meant to be, but dearly loved for the brief time they had together. She was still missed and would never be forgotten.

"Here in Washington." Handing the small case file to Scully he looked at the clock, "I've another meeting in five minutes, if you'll excuse me."

Getting up, she took the case file without feeling comfortable with it.

Walking slowly down to her basement office, Scully thought about Emily, the girl would've been 12 by now if she had lived. The fates of both her children bore similarities; both had come inexpertly into this world, and both had been given to other mothers. The pain had torn her both times. This case would bring back old memories and contact to people she wanted to hide from. Darkness kept coming at her.

She found Mulder alone in their office, "Where did Phoebe go?" Scully packed her laptop in her briefcase.

"I ditched her." Mulder looked pleased with himself.

"Guess she wasn't pleased at all?"

"Scully, do you really care?"

"Nope."


	16. Chapter 16

The X-Files, Scully and Mulder belong to Chris Carter. Lucky guy!

Thanks for reading and reviewing – means a lot to me.

This is the last chapter of a story meant to be a little one shot.

I hope the I Want to Believe DVD hits my mailbox tomorrow as promised by the supplier ;-)

Chapter sixteen

Don't Give Up

The Scully-Mulder Residence

April, 23rd 2008

06.45 P.M

Scully was in their bedroom sorting out the dirty clothes from the clean ones in their travel bags, it had been a short trip so some of the packed clothes were still unused. Finding the clothes and towels they had used in the sweat, her nose wrinkled in disgust, they smelled awful. Deciding to wash it all right away her eyes fell upon the package Joe Taylor had given her.

Moisturizing her lips she hesitated, suddenly, unsure of the wisdom in opening the gift, the whole situation had been surrealistic to her. The power of the sweat lodge was life altering, she couldn't deny that, but guilt was mixed with this feeling. She had grown up in the Catholic Church, and the Church wasn't approving of other ways than the straight. Yet, she couldn't stop thinking about what the Church had done to the Native, she had made a research of the matter and it was true. The children had been taken from their homes and sent to boarding-schools. The Christian ways had been forced upon a people by steeling their children, their futures. Maybe faith was a matter of tolerance she cherished that thought.

Wrapping the gift open a big Mandela came into sight, it was beautiful. On a leather piece, a white-headed eagle handing a whistle to a small boy was painted, on each side of the circle hang horsehairs and feathers hang loosely from the bottom. Surely, this was an expensive gift. Taking it up she admire the Mandela, every detail was clearly made with consideration. In awe, she touched the feathers, not sure from which bird they came. Looking down again, she saw a dream catcher; a note told her it was for her. Touched, she took it into her hands it was beautiful! The feathers were from a pheasant and the stones in the web were light pink, later, she would find out which stones they were.

Laying the dream catcher on her bed she replaced it with the Mandela, holding it in her hand she entered William's room. Her son was in the living room with Mulder, they were trying a new computer game. The game would teach William to spell more words. Standing in the middle of the room, she looked from the Mandela to the walls, her eyes settled on a small hook at the wall where William's bed was placed. It would be the perfect spot for the Mandela. Stepping onto the bed, she hang the Mandela on the hook, it was perfect. It was a beautiful gift for her son, a protection.

Satisfied she walked into the bedroom again, now she just had to find a good place for her dream catcher, she wanted to share it with Mulder. She was unsure if she wanted it above their bed, or if it would be more decorating in the living-room, considering her options, her thoughts turned to her sister. She would've loved getting the change to participating in a Blackfoot ceremony; Melissa had been open to most things regarding spirituality. She missed sharing her life with her older sister, and it would've been great to share William and this first case with Melissa.

Once, Melissa had told her, that she believed there was a specific reason why Dana rarely slept through a night, and that she might want to find that reason in order to change the situation. Melissa had been sure there was a reason behind everything in life and they just had to find the answers to solve things. Melissa had several times said that Dana was looking all the wrong places, looking too hard for facts. What would Melissa think of her sister now?

Resolutely, Scully decide the dream catcher belonged in the bedroom. Perhaps it would help her holding onto her dreams, and finding a way to understand what lay underneath the 'don't give up'.

"Mommy, come look!" William called from his room.

Striding into his room, she saw his happy face. "Mommy, it's cool. Where did you get it?"

"You like it, sweetie?" standing next to him, she gently pushed a stray curl of hair away from his eye; his hair was so alike Mulder's.

"I do! Look at the bird, mommy."

"It's an eagle. A nice man, Joe Taylor, asked me to give the Mandela to you, William."

"What's for?" his small voice filled with wonder over this unexpected gift.

"It's called a Mandela. It's an Indian charm for protection. I think the eagle represents clarity and it can bring our prayers to the creator, to God, sweetheart."

Accidentally, she had found this information when she had made her research of the Catholic boarding- schools.

Bewildered he glazed at her; "the man wants me to pray to it?"

Realising, he hadn't understood what she just said, she giggled softly, "no sweetheart, neither do I. You just say your prayers as you always do, the eagle listens to them."

"But it will protect me and you and dad?" Innocently he looked into her eyes, "so we will always be together?"

Touched, she bowed down and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, holding his head between her palms, she reassuringly said, "it will, sweetheart."

"Good, he's a nice man. We will see him again. I want to give him a gift too, mommy."

"We will find a good gift and send it to Joe Taylor, sweetheart."

"Why wasn't I invited to this party?" Mulder stalked into the room looking anything but offended. "Wow, what's that on your wall, William?"

"It's an eagle, dad!"

Mulder looked from William to Scully, "ah, I see that now."

"Mommy says it's a man protector, it's good." William looked seriously at his dad.

Mulder smiled at his son, "I'm sure it is." Turning to Scully, he widened his eyes in question, "a man protector? Should I be jealous?"

Sniffling a giggle, she explained, "it's a Mandela Joe Taylor gave William. We got a dream catcher."

"I assume it a protector?" Mulder replied.

"Mommy, can I see the dream holder. How can it hold your dreams?" William tipped from one foot to the other in eagerness. Marvelling at how alike William was to his dad, Scully smiled.

"Come, I'll show you the dream catcher." Taking his hand, she walked him to the bedroom, Mulder followed behind trying to hide his laughing.

"Look it's on the bed, William." Scully directed her son's eyes to the dream catcher.

"It's pretty but how can it holds your dreams, won't they fall out of the holes?"

Hiding her mouth behind her left hand, Scully kept quiet for a while.

"Maybe you got the one with all the holes, Scully." Mulder looked deadpan at her.

"I'm almost certain the holes are for the bad dreams, they are being directed away from you." She would have to find out how a dream catcher worked.

"It looks like a spider web." William had lost interest in the dream catcher and ran out of the bedroom.

Staring at the dream catcher she realised her son was right, the web looked liked the web a spider made. The web intrigued her, suddenly she saw it; inside the web a spider appeared. The spider filled most of the web, it was very beautiful done; creating a spider inside a circle shaped net.

"Found something interesting, Scully?"

"Yeah, look the web is formed as a spider. William was more right than he thought."

Bowing his head to level inches away from Scully's, he studied the dream catcher, "ah, I see it. But you know most people are afraid of spiders, don't you?"

Rolling her eyes her lips curled up into a smile, "I don't think it will attack us in our sleep, Mulder. I'll be right next to you, you know!"

"Ah, thank you, I feel so much safer now. Where do you want it?"

"Above our bed. In the middle. That way it will help both of us."

Slightly amused he asked; "Do you believe the dream catcher will work?"

"I don't know, but symbols are strong just like my cross. Originally, the dream catcher was used to protect the warriors, when they rode off to war. Don't underestimate the value of symbols, Mulder."

Amazingly, she had found the information earlier that day, not knowing it would be important to her later. Her analytic mind had stored the information without reflection, never expecting it would be useful to her personally, but the case had affected her deeply on a personal level.

"Let me help you."

Handing the Dream Catcher to Mulder, she willingly let go of it, with a smiled she watched Mulder claiming onto the bed. He wasn't a handy man in any sense, on the contrary, he failed big time in that department. Fortunately, a hook already was plugged into the ceiling above their bed. She assumed the former owner had used it for something.

With sparkling eyes, he turned to her, "all finished." He was well aware of his practical abilities or the lack of them.

Clapping her hands slowly she stated, "I'm so proud of you, Mulder!"

Coming down from the bed he shuffled closer to her, feeling his hot breath on her face she tilted her head up, obeying her request; he covered her lips with his own.

"Scully, why won't you marry me?"

Resting her head against his chest, she closed her eyes and sighed, "do we have to talk about it again?"

"Scully, we haven't really talked about it, you just said there was no reason to get married."

Acknowledging the truth in his words she tried to explain, "it's just…you know, you have…I don't know, Mulder. We don't need a piece of paper!" Frustrated she gave up; she had no solid reason just a bitter taste of jealousy.

Tilting her head up to meet his stare, he locked eyes with her. "I was never married to Diana, we never made it so far. We never got pass the engagement part. We can just skip that part, Scully, and go directly to the marriage part. Would that be ok?"

"I know it's foolish, Mulder, I just can't help it. Maybe I'm afraid of the emotional attachment, I don't know."

"It means a lot to me, I want to marry you, Scully."

"Let me think about it. Ok?" she searched his eyes to see if she had hurt him deeply, all she found was love, hope and understanding.

"Ok" He whispered. "I think it's past a certain young man's bedtime, I'll hunt him down." He laughed on his way out of the bedroom.

Later in her sleep, Scully became restless as a dream started forming in her sleep:

Of course, he had picked up her attend of doing her own little campaign, it shouldn't come as a surprise to her, he was good at reading between the lines. She had arrange it all so well, the Gunmen supporting her on this one, hell she had almost believed them, when they stated the files couldn't be hacked. But of course Mulder hadn't.

Unpleased with the situation she stepped out of the apartment, the only good thing in all this was, that the truth had finally hit Mulder, and that he had looked pleased with the fact, that he was to become a dad.

"Sully, wait" She felt his hand on her shoulder; ungraciously, she turned around to face him. It was getting harder and harder to move around these days. Immediately, their eyes locked, seeing the happiness and silent question, her doubts easily faded away and softness floated into her eyes.

"Is it true, is it my baby? Our baby, Scully?"

The mixture of vulnerability, hope and disbelieve she found in his unblinking eyes, touched her, they hadn't talked about her baby since, he had said he was unsure of his role in it all. His doubts had hurt her, never would she understand, how he could doubt her love like that. But all was forgiven in this moment.

Her mouth turning into a big grin she whispered softly, "yeah, it's true, Mulder!"

For a long moment they just stared at each other, both communicating their love through their eyes. He always made her feel beautiful and loved when he looked at her that way.

"Thank you, "finally able to move, he took her in his arms and held her tight, "thank you, Scully" He whispered again, this time into her ear. His word was not just covering the baby; it covered her loyalty, her fidelity and her love. Softly his mouth moved downwards, leaving a warmth path of kisses on its way, until his lips found her lips in a possessive kiss mixed with unshielded love. Eagerly, she responded in the same fashion. She had missed his kisses, missed the taste of him, his scent, his touches and missed to look into his eyes. Feeling herself coming home she deepened the kiss, wanting all of him.

"Are we suppose to do this, Scully?" gently breaking the kiss, he smiled broadly.

"Yeah, hell we are, Mulder." Turning her head upwards, she moistened her lips, invitingly. Instantly, he obeyed claming her lips in a long, breathtaking kiss.

Pulling apart, she unwillingly admitted, "well, maybe not here." Looking down at her swollen abdomen, she saw and felt his hands caressing it. His eyes widened in surprise when the baby kicked.

"This is a homecoming I never dreamed of, Scully."

"Yeah, I know. Let's go home, Mulder"

The pictures faded way. Now, she was lying on a table, a bright spot shinning above her, exposing her bare abdomen. In shock, she watched it grow and grow until she looked heavily pregnant. Unable to move her arms, she bowed her head and watched her body.

If she didn't know better, she would think she was carrying a baby inside her, but it would never happen again. She was barren and a miracle never happened twice.

Feeling movements inside her, she saw her abdomen move; there was a connection between the kicking and the movements. It couldn't be!

Startled, she awoke abruptly from the dream. Her hand rushed down to her abdomen, she had been pregnant in her dream, first with her son and then with another baby. It had felt so real. Too real! A dream never coming true; another baby.

Her heart thumped for a long moment and she had difficulties with her breathing, it only reached to the top of her lungs. Fear had too strong a hold on her to find any release. Rolling over she pressed her body into Mulder's back, his deep, relaxed breathing slowed her own down gradually. It was just a dream, a bad one, probably started when Skinner handed her the case file earlier today.

Pressing her lips softly against his neck, she felt him starting to roll over until he was facing her, "a bad dream?" He was used to her regular nightmares, which had started just after her abduction and become more frequent when William was handed over to the adoption agency.

"Yeah" she whispered back.

"You know, it will help if you to talk about it?" Over the years, it had become much easier for her to discuss her feelings and private matters, her confidence came with trust and he was honoured and grateful, she had given hers to him. When she had a hard time confiding in him it was because she didn't trust herself.

Licking her upper lip her doubtful eyes bore into his, "It's weird. First, it was about when you realised you were William's father, next I was pregnant, but it wasn't with William. It was with a new baby. I was on a table with my abdomen stripped." Breathing deeply her eyes clouded with confusion, "Maybe, I just whish it would happen again." Looking down along her nose, she whispered the last sentence.

"Scully, would you like another child?" He had suspected, she longed for another child, but had hoped she had come to terms with that it would unlikely never happen.

"Yeah," it was painful for her to admit, "but I also know it will never be more than a dream." Lifting her eyes, she saw understanding and regretting in his eyes.

"What brought this up?"

"I don't know, Mulder!" But she knew, "a case Skinner wants me to look into and something Joe Taylor said."

"What case?"

"Erg, a case about a twelve years old girl, who might experience some of the same test Emily did. I haven't looked into it yet, it will stir up old wounds and memories."

"Why didn't you tell me? You don't have to do it alone." He had been very fond of Scully's daughter, secretly, whishing she had been his daughter.

"Thank you." Closing her eyes, she tried to shrug off the dream and her wistful thinking.

"What did Joe Taylor say to you? You told me you would tell me later."

Opening one eye she tiredly replied, "don't give up."

"Don't give up… I think you need to pay attention to that statement. What have you given up upon, Scully? This means something, you know, it has been said twice to you."

Resting her tongue against her lips, her eyes drifted away into her own world for a long minute. She had avoided looking at the issue for the last few years. Simply shutting down that part of her life, believing it was way out of her reach.

Tears filled her eyes, when they couldn't hold the salty water anymore, tears dripped to the pillow, damping her face on its way. Her lips started to shiver.

Inching closer to her, he tightened his hold on her, placing a soft kiss on her salty mouth, before he whispered into her ear, "is it so bad you can't tell me?"

The fight inside her nearly tore her apart, she wanted to tell him, wanted to use his strength, but she was embarrassed over her weakness and afraid he would dismiss it as childish fear. Deep inside she knew he wouldn't, knew it was just her own fear playing games with her mind.

Exhaling heavily, she found the courage, almost choking on the words she uttered; "a family, a future, that my dreams will always be unreachable."

"Still afraid someone will take William away?" He shared her fear and doubts.

"Or that I'll loose you!"

In disbelief, he blurred "Me! Why?"

"Mulder, you always rush into things without second thoughts, you did it again some weeks ago. You didn't even carry a weapon! You could have died, if Skinner and I hadn't found you." There wasn't a hint of accusation in her voice but sadness. "You know, I fell in love with you because of that stubbornness of yours, it's just difficult to live with it sometime."

He hadn't understood it before now what his actions did to her, how much worry and pain it brought upon her, "I'm sorry, I don't know if I can change it, but I'm willing to try."

Smiling weakly she softly said, "You can't change who you are, just promise me you'll be more careful."

"I will"

"Good!"

"Scully, are you okay?" He hated the weariness in her voice.

Closing her eyes, she wondered briefly. "It's not about my faith in God, Mulder, it's about my trust in God and in myself. I didn't se that in Standoff but now I do."

"Do you still want to go back to Quantico?"

"No, we need to fight for a future and our family; I can't refuse the responsibility, Mulder."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Scully. I won't blame you if you quit the X-Files for Quantico." He was honest; there were more at stake than their two lives.

"I won't, your pillow talk about destinies the other night made me want to believe" She laughed softly.

The end


End file.
